I get "that look." That oh-my-god-how-incompetent-and-unprofessional-you-are look. That look of horror and confusion that demands further explanation -- to defend myself, a pride thing?
"Oh, don't worry. I got it all down, word for word, it's just automatic for me. It goes in my ears, through my brain and out my fingers, and I often don't listen."
I then go on to use the analogy of driving for miles, from Point A to Point B, and not remembering stopping at traffic lights, or slowing down, or right turns, etc. You know you did all of those things, else you would have crashed, but you don't remember doing them because your mind was on auto and YOU were somewhere else.
Yes, there are times when I HAVE to pay close attention, when it's more challenging subject matter, expert testimony, for example, or unfamiliar material. But everyday stuff? Nah, I drift. I think of all the things I need to do when I leave work, what I need at the store, who needs picked up, what bills need to be paid, will I have time to work out this evening, how many carbs are in X, did I remember to start the dishwasher this morning, on and on and on....
I've been in a jury trial for over a week, and I'm actually listening on this one. Not because I think it's interesting -- it's not. It's quite boring at times. But because I'm amazed that this case didn't settle, and I'm fascinated by the over-confident, smug looks on Plaintiff's faces, both counsel and litigant. I want to say to them: Helllllooooooo?????? Are you crazy? You have no case here, people. You're gonna lose your ass. Why didn't you take the settlement offer?
But they're often so blinded with emotion, they don't see it. I guess everyone deserves to think THEIR side is right. I mean, afterall, that's the point of the challenge....may the best side win. Right?
But having spent this many years in a courtroom, I'm rarely wrong in predicting how a case is gonna turn out. Yet I never let it show. I sit there stoically, Ms Court Reporter, the lady with that little machine, the expression-less face. Oh, if they only knew what I was thinking...
It's frustrating being a court reporter. We don't get to talk. We have to sit there and be still, unbiased, uninvolved, and just take it all down, word for word, on our funny little machines.
We can't voice objections, or arguments. Oh, how we'd like to.
No, we're just silent record keepers. We merely preserve the record. We ARE the record.
Some day I'm gonna write a book of all the bizarre things I've heard in courtrooms over the years. A guaranteed good read...word for word.
