Climactic Splendor

All that glitters...

Passaggio

It Is Breath to My Soul

It's almost that time again.

My home away from home...

Marco Island, Florida.

I've been waiting since winter -- no, even before --

counting down the days till our vacation,

planning (hoping) to have all three sons with us this year

to celebrate the Fourth of July for the first time ever

on Marco Island.

We switched our vacation to July this year,

which means we missed seeing our
"other families"

who we normally vacation with in June at Marco.

(Next year we'll be with them again...and it's in pen, a done deal!)

We've not had all our sons there together

for about four -- maybe five? -- years,

and I've been squirming with excitement.

Zach, our oldest, confirmed in May

that he would be able to fly in from Japan to join us,

which we'd been hoping would work out.

The letdown?

Ouch.  Unfortunately, we learned last week

that our middle son Gavin

would not be able to take off from work after all 

for that week, the owner needing that week off for a family event.

And the owner trumps.

I was beyond disappointed.

My emotions took a toll ...

I wallowed.

Consumed.

Pathetically. 

I refused to even talk about it.

It took me over a week to come to terms 

with my disappointment.

I think what made it worse was that I haven't

been able to see Gavin since March 

due to his crazy work schedule not getting weekends off.  

They've been training new managers,

and he's been slammed with his schedule.

Hopefully things will ease up sometime in July.

I want to make the most of this vacation

despite my high hopes of the five of us being together

having been splintered.

I will not let this rob me of the joy of

Zach and Colton getting to spend time together at least

after almost a year of not seeing each other...

AND...we'll be celebrating the Fourth of July together...

in paradise!

We're making memories.

We're leaving our worries behind.

It's time to unplug and purge.

Just over a week to go...

I.CAN'T.WAIT.

Distilled

Just going through the motions.  Life can be like that at times.  Hanging on, waiting out the storms that rage beneath the surface.  The quest for ... for ... what?  Taming the entanglement...one day chasing the next.

Don't judge me.  Aberrations.  We all have them.  No one is exempt.

Masquerading pretenses,

deeply absorbed and

hell-bent

to conquer this
blindsiding

piercing power, this

roaring

rushing and

relentless, rising wave that won't let go

building ...then subsiding

lingering...then returning

to drag my ruptured heart in its clutches

across the sand of broken dreams,

I crave release.

Surrender.

~T

Antidotes

Kiss Me Like You Mean It

So we tried making reservations last week at a local restaurant that I like for Valentine's Day and they were booked.  We tried Choice 2.  Then Choice 3.  Even 4.  Everyone was already booked.  What?  Really?  I guess it's because Valentine's Day falls on a Friday this year.

Then we decided to celebrate a day early (yesterday) to beat the crowd, and the plan was to meet at the restaurant after work.  But yesterday was the winter storm and they closed the courthouse, the roads were a mess, and it was not a good day to hang around in the city unnecessarily.  Guess it wasn't meant to be.

So I'm hoping that we can get tickets to see Winter's Tale.  Usually if it's a love story I'm wanting to see, I'm on my own.  But since it's Valentine's Day, I'm calling the shots.  So.  A love story it is.

Flowers are overrated and overpriced, and I'm not even into roses for that matter.  And I definitely don't need candy, since I'm trying to drop some extra weight now anyway.  A piece of jewelry would be nice ... maybe a nice bottle of wine ... a yummy candle ... a good love story ... but the most simple and basic of all for this low-maintenance woman?  

A knock-me-off-my-feet breathtaking kiss. 

It is the passion that is in a kiss

that gives to it its sweetness;

it is the affection in a kiss that sanctifies it.

Christian Nevell Bovee

So. 

Don’t just stand there.

Kiss me.

Joy to the Third Degree

the pond shrouded in frozen mist

a young willow’s branches crusted with icing

I could

pass this by

focusing only on the inconveniences of driving on icy roads

a frigid morning commute

on a three-degree winter morning.

I could

dwell on warmer, longer days

ripe with color

an instant gratification of ease and comfort

life more predictable.

I could.

But I’d miss the beauty of this moment.

The joy of now.

Every minute of life has an element of sacredness.

To slow down and focus on the simple

brings fullness

joy

and satisfaction

to an otherwise cold and bleak morning.

With eyes wide open,

I stop to taste the beauty 

and the wonder

of winter.

The holiness of life.

A feast to withhold.

And I smile.

And I give thanks.

~T

Moon Night

Moon Night

 Emerging twilight,

veiled in
an expanse of calm,
brandishing a familiar
Presence...
nature's shining light of Heaven
smiling down upon the earth in humble splendor,
watching over me,
bidding boundless and unconditional comfort.

Moon,

there you are again…

whispers my heart lovingly.

 I hoped I'd find you waiting for me.
 

With wordless dialogues

we speak;
a clear and quiet
piercing of my soul
a gentle release with every exhale,
exposing
every
past, present and future
utterance
of my heart.

Reassured, I smile.

I am uplifted
I am reminded
of all that truly matters ...
love.
~T

(Not crazy about all these images, but the music is amazing.)

FNL Supermoon

Full moon tonight.
SUPERMOON

I know where the music is playing.

Let's go out and feel the night.

 

 

 



Do You Still Hear the Song

 

 



My Morning Fling with Nature

 

Wait...

   she pleaded breathlessly...

 

I've come all this way to see you...

Please don't run--

--don't hide from me,

Don’t make me beg.

Look at me just once

Let me see your smile

The color of your soul and

Just let me love you.

- T

As I was finishing up my morning stretches this morning, listening to Winter Sonata on Pandora, I looked out the back porch door and I saw the arrival of the day's first light, partly obscured by denim-blue clouds.  Love at first sight.

 

The sunrise was flirting with my heart.

 

With only shorts and a tank top on, I quickly grabbed my camera, threw on my ski jacket hanging by the back door, and ran in haste out the back door.  I cut through the neighbor's yard to save time, never taking my eyes off the sky, determined to make this date with nature before the swiftly-moving clouds robbed me of my early morning clandestine affair.

 

Run faster, T...

 

As I topped the hill to our subdivision, I knew I had no time to spare.  I sprinted the last bit of distance, oblivious to the cold morning air on my thighs, my fingers beginning to sting.  I grabbed my camera and I began shooting away, intoxicated with the joy of even a hasty glimpse of one of life's greatest pleasures, my desire to partake ensconcing the effects of the freezing temperatures on my body...

 

and then the words from my heart began to form on my lips...

 

My morning fling with nature.

 



The Calm You Seek

It's funny how life is.  Sometimes we are on the receiving end of assurances.  Sometimes we are the one giving those assurances. 

Being the one on the giving end, I sometimes find myself at a loss for words, the right words, wanting what I say to have substance ... not just -- words.  Fluff.  But real and lasting substance.  A message that will stick.  A message that buries itself into the soul of the listener and elevates the mind, the spirit, their very will.  Breath to a weakening flame.

Driving down the highway, thinking about what I wanted to say when I spoke to this person, I found myself repeating the words that once were shared with me.  It was a moment that seemed to stand still.  In a word?  Powerful... like being the one to discover an ancient inscription on the walls of a cave.   It was as if I were on the receiving end of those words once again, hearing them for the first time.  Like hearing MUSIC for the first time.  That big.  Like a song that's been written just for me, its lyrics playing over and over in my mind.

Overcome with the memories, the gratitude ... I felt compelled to memorialize that moment.  I had no choice.  You just don't let these moments slip you by...

The Calm You Seek



If Only You Knew the Rain

On the brink of winter

as she plays

hide-n-seek behind the clouds

the air heavy

with misty rain

Running

in exalted solitude

I breathe

inhale

and

exhale

each breath

in rhythm with my heart

listening

with my soul

seduced by the January rain

Do you know it?

If only you knew...

you would never let go

Never

ever

let go.

"Watermelon Man"

I-95S late June 2012

Sweltering lazy afternoons
stretched beneath shade trees
awaiting
indeed hoping
for the smallest of breezes
to cool the brow,
skin sticky with sweat
from play dates
with playmates
as we
rambunctiously
ran
and romped
resting rarely
conscious barely
of the
heat and humidity
of the season,
skin
sticky

with sugary traces of cool
and refreshing popsicles
or from
the thirst-quenching, tasty
and tantalizing sweetness
of watermelon slices,
the juicy goodness
cascading down our chins
as we sneekingly stored slippery
ammunition
in our mouths
"friendly fire"
punctuated with laughter

and rivalry...
who
could spit  the farthest?

Summer days of my youth
blurred from memory
until
the day
when I spied
the watermelon man

making his deliveries,
the promise
of lasting
and sweetly simple
summertime
revelries.
        ~T


Incidentally...
I never made it to the
Seed Spitting Hall of Fame.

Just Let Go

..

It's okay, 
she urged.
Just let go.

Tightly gripping
tentative releasing,
steadying now
and then
aching to breathe again,
yearning to soar again
feigning courage
to stand tall
or not at all.

Just let go.

Wanting
so desperately
to just let go.


Wanting
so desperately 
to abandon the fears
and weight of uncertainty,
gathering strength with each labored breath
each step
toward autonomy.
Grieving the spirit to fly
even cry
openly and without shame
or smile genuinely
or laugh deeply
live unpretentiously 
spontaneously
love breathlessly
again,
embrace life
again,
to withstand
what comes before
and after
when knowing when to let go
and go solo
takes courage.

It’'s scary to look down,
after holding on for so long,
when holding on 
or playing it safe
is all you know--
but to let go
suddenly seems
so right.

Finding the fortitude
and trust in oneself
enough
to say
it's okay.
Just let go.
~T

Breathe Me

Come closer.

Let me in.

Now breathe me.

Closer still.

Let me see

and touch.

Let me

smell you

as I trace the contours

first with my finger

then my tongue,

each crevice.

the rise and fall

of each muscle,

each

and every

contour,

every inch,

leaving none untouched.

Rest your lips upon mine

and feel my breath.

Breathe me

while I taste the wine

on your tongue,

hungrily exploring

seducing

--yearning for more.

Breath me 

then fill me.

Hold me.

Once more.

Breathe me.

Let me 

feel your strength

within your arms,

catching me

as I fall

into you.

Then 

at last

you 

into me.

          ~T

"Love is when the other person's happiness

is more important than your own."

~Chamfort~