My Life of Check Boxes

Since changing jobs from the courtroom to freelance in June of 2017, the reality is that I definitely do not have the extra time I thought I would have.  Freelance implies flexibility.  Flexibility implies time for ________ whenever I want.  Not so.  But I can't really explain why.

Some of it (a lot of it) is self-inflicted.

So in the freelance world of court reporting, we transcribe everything we write, unlike being an official in the courtroom, where only appealed cases are transcribed for the most part.  Transcribing every single word of every job shapes one into a better reporter for so many reasons.  We see steno that we need to write shorter (for speed) or a different way (for speed and accuracy).  So every day becomes a game, sort of.  What will my accuracy rate be today?  How many steno strokes will be perectly written?  More today than yesterday...than last week...than last month.  And on it goes.  And part of that insanity involves daily practice, over and above what we do on the job.  So we commit (those who strive for excellence) to practice every single day, no exceptions, even when we're sick, or have company, or plans, whatever, we fit it in somehow.  That accountability is the ticket.  As a result, our writing gets better and better with each passing day.  We compete against ourselves.  And this is incredibly addictive, as boring as it sounds.

Example:  I recently began writing the "evalute" family a different way to lessen hesitation and ensure accuracy.  So I use each of those words (evaluate, evaluated, evaluator, evaluation....) in a sentence -- which I get from this amazing online site, sentencedict.com, then record 10-15 sentences of each word into my iPhone, and that becomes my practice for the Daily Challenge that I belong to on this amazing court reporter website.  We mean business.  We don't play around.  We keep track and we commit to this insanity daily.  Over and above our work.

Check.

Next:  I began a commitment last September to learn a foreign language (on my bucket list).  I'm using Duo Lingo, and it is the coolest app for learning!  It's effective and it's fun and it's addictive.  I've learned SO MUCH in such a short amount of time.  My Italian vocabulary is now in the 1,000's, but in reality, that's really not that much.  Or maybe it is.  But the point is:  Ya gotta practice.  Every day.  And depending on how long it takes to get through your daily practice lesson, that can mean anywhere from 15 mins to 30 mins.

Check.

With my recent diagnosis of hip issues, and even before, I realize that I've gained weight -- both from feeling sorry for myself and overeating and from not exercising as much as I used to.  My butt takes up a lot more room in my jeans.  And it's not good.  Not with MY thighs.  And so I've commited to different forms of exercise most days of the week.  That takes time.  But I don't have a choice.  This is my health.  My sanity.   A direct impact on my emotional health.

Check.

So whether I'm at a deposition taking down the record, sitting at home at my desk transcribing the record, practicing so that I can take an even better record; practicing Italian, or working out, all of those check boxes take up far more time than even I realize.

So little time to do so many other things that I crave.  Reading.  Journaling.  Junking.

I do what I can when I can.  And that is enough for now.

After I finished my job this morning, I was heading back to my parking meter and spied a cool new building (not sure how new actually because I haven't been to this town for a while) that was beckoning a visit from me.  The Market.  All right.  I like that.  Inside there were shops, ice cream, restaurants, a brewery with wine and craft beer, a paleo quick-bite place, and maybe a couple others I missed.  The clothing store, called The Hip Eagle, had this yummy chunky charcoal cardigan oozing with texture and style -- half price!  A perfect gift for my daughter-in-law's birthday March 4th.  What fun!  I found myself wandering, wandering, wandering .... looking at things I didn't even want.  Just because it was fun.  I liked this place.  A lot.  I finally had to drag myself back to the car and get my butt home so that I could begin checking off my daily boxes.  (Note to self:  Get back to this place some evening for a craft beer and music on the patio!)

Wow.  What a boring life, right?

It is what it is for now.  But it keeps me busy, focused, challenged, purposeful.  And maybe that's a good thing as an empty nester.  Filling up my life with things that demand my time and attention and help to keep me distracted from the reality that I miss my sons.  I miss being at the lake more.  I miss goofing off in the afternoons (like I used to when we had short days in court).  This is my current chapter.  Every day I go through my list, checking off MY daily boxes.

And it's really NOT so bad.

Rendi ogni giorno

il tuo capolavoro.

(Make each day your masterpiece.)

- John Wooden

Ask Someone Who Has Been There Before

“If you cannot see where you are going,

ask someone who has been there before.”

~ J Loren Norris

As I've mentioned a time or two before, I'm not a big Facebook fan.  I don't like being tethered to technology that can track my every move.  Besides, it's a time hog.  And it's just as well.  I can't log on at work -- we're blocked.  And my phone is too small (or my eyesight is to poor?) to comfortably read posts (even if I was really dying to) without squinting and straining, and it drives me crazy waiting for it to refresh itself -- please don't waste more of my time!

I usually will log on to Facebook first thing in the morning to 1) send birthday wishes to friends; and 2) scan to see if I've missed anything worthy of a Like or a Comment.  But now and then I'm compelled to access Facebook on my cell phone for one reason or another, and a couple of days ago when I did so, I saw that I had a message waiting.  But because I refused to download to my phone the required Facebook App for messaging (far too intrusive, thank you very much, but no thanks), I was not able to access the message until I could get to my laptop and log on.

The message was from a colleague at our local business college asking if I'd be willing to mentor a student in the courtroom.  She had successfully made it to the point where hours for internship were now required, and she was would need 40 hours of courtroom time.

I accepted happily.  I contacted this young woman, first by text, and then by a phone call.  We've arranged to have her come to our courtroom first thing Monday morning.  We're starting a civil trial next week and it will be great courtroom experience for her.  We'll get her set up with her machine just behind the bar in the front row of the gallery closest to the jury box.  I'll show her around our offices and introduce her to everyone, try to make her feel as welcome and as comfortable as possible.  I've suggested that she start a list of questions that we can discuss over the lunch break.

I remember 30+ years ago -- Lord, has it really been that long? -- when I had to do my courtroom internship, and how intimidated and frightened I was.  Wide-eyed and afraid to breathe, I sat quietly in awe as I watched the official reporter taking down the record of a criminal trial in progress, trying my best to keep up on my own steno machine as I sat in the gallery.  Worried that people were staring at me.  Wondering what they were thinking.  Questioning whether I'd ever be able to pull this whole court reporter thing off.   Wondering if I'd made a huge mistake quitting my secretarial job with the Board of Education Administrative Offices to go to school to become a court reporter.  Can I do this?

And I did.

And she will.

And it will be privilege to help her realize her dream.  

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember,

involve me and I learn.” 

~ Benjamin Franklin 

My Twin is OCD; I'm Not

I'm a Gemini.  Not that I place a lot of conviction in "signs," but rather that I find them somewhat fascinating.  Curious.

What I find that DOES hold a bit of integrity is that I really am a split personality, as Geminis are known to have.  The Twins.  I'm kind and sweet one minute, but cross the line and I'll tear into you like a junkyard dog.  See, it's that line ya gotta watch out for.  That very fine line.

Likewise, depending on which twin is running the show for the day, I can either be pretty laid back and go with the flow, or I can morph into a relentless control freak.  It's a bit shameful, actually.  I don't want to admit to this!

That's where I am right now.  A little OCD going on here, people.

I've been Googling the worldwide web for tips and suggestions, guidance, on what the HELL I'm doing wrong on my latest chalk paint endeavor.  I began last weekend the project of repainting my kitchen table and chairs using chalk paint. My first two projects had been SO successful, I thought I had this down.  (Scratching head here, frozen frown.)  But the final step, applying the clear wax over the chalk painted finish, has been anything but smooth -- play on words -- and I'm ready to say, "Oh, firetruck it," and resort to a typical furniture wax like Johnson's Paste Wax, rather than the wildly popular, gotta-have-it, nothing-else-will-do clear Annie Sloan wax that everyone raves about.

Incidentally, my first two projects were completed WITHOUT using the infamous clear AS wax.  I used a different brand of dark wax and a far less expensive clear wax bought at our local Home Depot.  This should be a big clue.

Forty-eight hours later and still going in my Googling process, I've begun a Word document with all the little tips and advice from others, both novice and expert, who seem to have either mastered the art of waxing over chalk paint, or who have tried and failed (as I have) and have discovered the solution to their dilemma.

I found this blog post in my research and I LAUGHED OUT LOUD as I read along, relating with her pain.  Very funny!

I'm now on page four of my compiled list of tips and suggestions.  (So do I read this and commit it to memory?  Will there be a test, Teacher?)

Overwhelmed?  Yes.  Determined?  Hell yes.

There will be no white flag.  I am going to figure this out if it kills me.

An invincible

determination

can accomplish almost anything.

~ Thomas Fuller

Is It Time to String Beans, Mawmaw?

It is common knowledge in our family that our maternal grandmother was never idle.  I rarely saw her sitting down.  She was queen of multitasking.  I used to love to help her string beans in the cool shade of her front porch in the summer -- she didn't have air conditioning, but trying to get her to sit down was a chore in itself.  Yes, those beans needed stringing, but there were clothes to hang on the line, weeds to pull, bathrooms to clean, dusting, shaking rugs, sweeping ... and the list went on and on.  Lead by example.  It's all I knew as a kid.  There was rarely idle time in her world.  

I think of today's world, how times have changed.  Kids -- even adults -- nowadays find themselves bored more often than not, seeking out TV shows or DVD's to entertain themselves when they feel boredom setting in.  

And not in MY world.  I don't know what boredom feels like either, Mawmaw.  My list of things I either need to do or want to do is never-ending.  I never seem to have ENOUGH time to do all the things I want to accomplish in that flimsy sliver of waking hours.

I've been having fun playing around with my camera lately.  I like to carry it with me in case I'm blessed with a fleeting moment of beauty, whimsy or intrigue.  Some of the photos below were even taken while sitting down for a breather yesterday afternoon on the patio ... never idle ... never a dull moment.  The shadows caught my eye, and away I went ...click, click, click...I don't want to miss a thing.

On my way to work last week

In self-teaching, I'm learning that the usually harsh midday sun can produce a compelling contrast of shadows ... I see the beauty even now.

Playfully out of focus.

A marriage of shadow and light.

Textures and mosaic hues ...

scrumptious sepia

tinted black & white

purposefully overexposed

mystic light

calming grays

Short  as life is,

we make it still shorther by the

careless waste of time.

Victor Hugo

January Gym Crowds - This Too Shall Pass?

For the last week and a half, the term "Full House" has taken on a whole new meaning at my gym.  It's nice that everyone resolves each January to make fitness their number one resolution.  And we all know what they say about New Year's resolutions.  Still, for the sake of good intentions, health and wellness , I'd like to think that many WILL keep their resolutions,
EVEN if it means I

O FAITHFUL ONE

keep getting snuffed out of spinning classes.

Last night was my third spin class, and although I would have preferred taking it on a Thursday night -- Wednesdays are not convenient gym days for me -- I had to grab for "the crumbs."  It's all that was left on the sign-up sheets for this week's classes.  And to make matters worse, I tried getting ahead of the game to sign up for next week's classes (I'm aiming for two spin classes a week) but it was too late.  Next week's classes are already filled up, two classes a night, Monday through Thursday -- ALL FILLED!

So now what?  If I have to wait a whole 'nother week before my fourth class, I'll feel like I'm starting all over again.  Not the ideal situation.  I have to wonder if "this too shall pass," since it IS January, and most gym goers manifest short-lived overzealousness in their best of intentions.  We shall see, I suppose.  But in the meantime -- what to do.

There are 6:00 a.m. spinning classes offered, but I didn't bother looking at those sign-up sheets.  I prefer an evening spin class; it's an intense sport, and not only has my body had a chance to fully wake up and work out its aging kinks, I can't imagine mustering enough energy for spinning at that hour.

But it may be my only option at this point.

Ugh.

And JUST when I was really getting the hang of this thing!  It's a fast, intense, kickass sweatfest that burns a whole lotta calories.  It seems to have gotten a bit easier each class as I am building on my  endurance, pushing a bit harder each time.  Spinning is not for the faint of heart.  Which begs the question:  

So what will it be, Newbies?

Can you hang?  Are you taking this crap seriously?

Will you stay or will you go?

We shall see.

A Mentor Leaves a Lasting Impression

Thinking back to 2002, when I first began testing the waters with "low carb eating," I recall all the struggles I went through for the next several years trying to drop some weight.  My weight varied at that time between 168 and 173.  I would lose a little, then gain it back, lose a little, repeat.  A vicious cycle.

I discovered how lowering carbs could help you to lose weight more efficiently, and I began that journey of carb counting.  I knew so very little then about WHAT I was doing, WHY I was doing it, and how there could be so many variables to controlling carbs.  Over that period of time I developed an overblown fear of carbs.  All carbs.  Any carbs.  Convinced that they were the demonic force to my not being able to lose weight and KEEP it off.  Keeping my carbs at 20 or below on a daily basis, I would do well for a while, lose a few pounds, and then my hunger and cravings would skyrocket and I'd blow my diet all to hell, bingeing on high-fat, high-calorie, sugary carbs.  And then I would crawl back to the starting line with my tail between my legs and begin the madness again.  And again.  And again.

Eventually I began experimenting with adding "a few more" carbs to my daily diet plan to help balance out my hunger and cravings.  The elusive search for balance.  This worked for a while, and I was able to shed a few more pounds and managed to keep those pounds off pretty well.

But when I got to within 10-12 lbs of what I considered "goal weight," I found myself on the merry-go-round once more, stalled and frustrated and hungry and disillusioned with the whole weight loss, exercise and nutrition concept.  Confused.  Totally confused.  What was I doing wrong?  I was exercising.  I was keeping my carbs low to very low.  I was watching and controlling my calories.  Yet I wasn't making any progress.

Fast-forwarding to 2008, I began researching articles and reading accounts of people who were having a lot of success with cycling carbs.  I had been testing the waters with this concept through my reading of Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle by Tom Venuto, learning valuable concepts about nutrition, a little here, a little there, but I could never get the nerve to increase my carbs to the levels -- or even anywhere close to the levels -- that he recommended in his book, certain that if I did, my cravings would once again skyrocket, I'd lose total control, and I'd pack on even more pounds in no time at all, stalling my weight loss even further.  I managed to lower my fat to more acceptable levels during that process, increase my carbs somewhat, and throwing in "for good measure" what I deemed to be an adequate amount of protein.  Having recently been introduced to that new term, "macronutrient," little did I know at that time how that word could have such an incredible impact on my fat loss, muscle feeding success.

While experimenting, reading, researching, I stumbled into a friendship of sorts with a very knowledgeable and experienced mentor who began sharing with me a little at a time nutritional jewels that would totally rock my world from that point forward.  It was time to erase the slate.  Start fresh.  Chapter One.  Roll up your sleeves, T, and pay attention.  This dude has got it together and you'd better pay attention to what he says.  And I did.  I became a human sponge for nutritional knowledge.

I embarked upon my first ever refeed in March of 2008.  Oh.How.Daunting.  A refeed, huh?

refeed

Sounds rather dangerous.  Risky.  But admittedly, the notion of eating a huge amount of carbs for a day after restricting to very low levels all week, with the promise that this would trick my metabolism into a frikkin inferno -- BURN, BABY, BURN!   Yep.  I'm in.  Let's do this.  What do I have to lose -- except fat?

I was sustained by one piece of inestimable good fortune.

I had for a friend a man of immense and patient wisdom

and a gentle but unyielding fortitude.

Thomas Wolfe

I share a question I posted to him online just before my first-ever refeed.  His answer, although seemingly too good to be true at the time, laid the groundwork for a whole new way of thinking about nutrition, and was the genesis for my new-found passion for fitness.

His online name was Btinc.  I never knew what those letters stood for.  And I never asked.  But I later came up with an educated guess:

Brilliant

Teacher

of

Impressive

Nutritional

Credentials

I'm forever grateful to this man, my mentor and friend, 
who opened up a whole new world for me,

feeding a passion that was buried deep and unknowingly within me,

instilling knowledge and confidence for a lifetime.

Thank you, once again, Btinc...

Wherever you are.

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us.

What we have done for others and the world 

remains and is immortal.

~ Albert Pine

Time to Recharge

T       H A      PB G

TKPW      O              D

T           A   E         S

T  P    RAO EU        D

Taking the day off today, I was able to sleep in a couple extra hours.  Wow.  Two hours.  That’s a bonus.  My body should be very happy with that treat and respond favorably with added energy and mental focus. 

B    R      EU

                EU          T

             O         PB

I need to take a minute to prepare my checklist of THINGS TO DO today so that I won’t mismanage my time, so that I can make the most of my day off. 

I’ve focused heavily on perfecting my realtime skills this week, and I feel that I’ve made a good bit of progress. I seem to “hear” everything through my steno, as a result of the added focus and attention to my writing style and skills, differentiating the nuances of the English language that most people never even think about when listening to the spoken word.  I automatically write it in my head, I see it in steno with my brain.  An involuntary reflex.

(...So is that "cent," or is it "scent," or is it "sent" ...)

For instance, I attended a Republican Women’s fundraising dinner last night, two friends and I having been invited to sing as part of their “entertainment” – call it what you will – following dinner and before the introduction of candidates and slate of speakers.  As the speakers took the podium and laid out their itineraries, rallying the support of those in attendance, I found myself taking their speeches down in my head in shorthand.  It wasn’t intentional.  My mind just automatically started processing their words in “steno” in my head.  I tried to relax my brain and just LISTEN to the context, but having been immersed in a concentrated study and practice of writing more cleanly over the past week, it was hard to flip that switch. 

I’m used to rhetorical courtroom technology -- briefs and pleadings, rules of evidence, citations, objections, stipulations, motions for this, that and the other – legalese that has become so automatic and second nature for me.  A campaign speech, I found, was a bit more challenging.  I was hearing words in a whole different context, and it’s amazing how that can affect one’s ability to process information.  That initial element of hesitation:  What?  Do what?  The brain is an amazing machine, and it CAN learn and respond, but only after given a chance to adapt to the new stimuli through repetition, practice, and commitment. 

I think that applies to most areas of learning any new skill or habit.  The first few attempts at “new territory” can be humbling, confusing, frustrating, even disheartening.  But given the chance, our bodies in concert with our brain can quickly adapt and progress.  We are most capable of mastering whatever hurdle is set before us with patience, commitment, dedication, determination and perseverance.

It’s been a busy week, mentally challenging.  But I’ve made progress.  And yes, I’m glad it’s Friday.  I welcome the opportunity to get some other things accomplished, play Taxi Mom, fiddle with a project, work out, stretch, take a long bath with a glass of wine and some relaxing tunes, and UNWIND.  Recharge.

A nice steady rain would be fabulous.  Like the gardens and flowers of late summer, I’m tired, THIRSTY for that long overdue cleansing and renewal.

My Apprenticeship with Realtime Coach

So in an effort to nail this whole pass-the-CRR-exam-or-else endeavor, I'm pulling out all the stops.  One of the things I've added to my arsenal is Realtime Coach.  It's my hope that practicing with this online program/software will help me to identify my weaknesses and isolate the hurdles that need attention.

This is a humbling tool, this Realtime Coach thing.  Shows very little mercy, can be very intense, and as is to be expected when learning anything new, I'm having to make sense of the settings, connections, and thereby troubleshoot my account and realtime practice for it to prove beneficial.

Since we've had a light docket this week, it's afforded me extra time to devote to focusing on improving my writing skills, memorizing briefs, solving conflicts with my writing theory, and practicing my speed building.  Next week I won't be so lucky -- huge docket looming -- so I'll "make hay while the sun is shining."

I have countless briefs (steno shortcuts) in my software's dictionary that aren't being put to use.  Oh, yeah, I used them at one time in my career.  But when not used often, they grow dust and thereby slip far too easily from my memory.  This is why it's important to continue to practice writing skills -- even though, A-HEM, I think I'm above that because, after all, I write in court every day, have been for nearly 30 years, so why should I be bothered with practice?

Well, now I know, thanks to Realtime Coach.  Point taken.

I'm having to sacrifice down time that I would normally spend doing other things -- reading, writing, web surfing, hobbies, just to name a few -- and dedicate that time to doing what needs to be done, has to be done.  What's required of me, my part in achieving this goal.

A life lesson revisited...

DISCIPLINE.

"Discipline is doing what is hard and necessary rather than what is fun and easy
and doing it when it’s necessary,
whether you feel like doing it or not."

Brian Tracy

KISS -- Keep It Short Sweety!

The last several days I've made a concentrated effort to work on improving my steno writing and overcoming hurdles, common hesitations, and/or words and phrases that I stroke out when I should be using briefs.  Wow.  Eye opener.  There are far more than I realized.  Committing these to memory through daily PRACTICE could be pivotal for me in passing my CRR.

For instance -- only one example of so very many -- even though I KNOW the briefs for the following phrase, I stroke it out on my steno machine.  If I would just start focusing on briefs, "listening" for them as I write instead of zoning out (Does that mean I'm bored?), the more I write the brief, the faster my fingers, the faster I write, less hesitation, greater chance of overcoming nerves with the edge of increased speed.  Word of the day?  SHORT.  Short and sweet.

This phrase:

Do you have an opinion within a reasonable degree of medical certainty…

I USED to write in ten strokes on my machine:

TKOUF
A
P PB
W PB
A
RAOEPBL
TKPWRAOE
F
PHEL
SERPBT

TEN STROKES.  10!

When I could be writing it in TWO STROKES like this:

TKOUFP
WREPLS

Two strokes of my fingers on my steno machine and I'm done!

Pay attention, T.  You have been slacking.

You have the skills and the knowledge to pack this baby up and kiss it goodbye.

KISS it, T.

KISS IT.