2019. I knew it would be non-stop. And it has been.
The busyness began in April -- a trip to Watertown, New York.
My son and daughter-in-law were living there -- WERE -- temporarily. She's a travel nurse at the present time, while he works towards finishing his master's in archaeology at Binghamton University. He finally found his passion. Let the man dig!
He just returned from his second field dig in South Africa. Somehow Google knows I now have an interest in archaeology. I get articles now on my news feeds of all the latest discoveries in the field. No secrets anymore, I guess. We can run but we can't hide or something like that.
Fast-forward to the present -- living in an apartment complex.
Suspended somewhere between then -- a big house in suburbia -- to a third-floor apartment that I've worked at making "homey" while we're here. And we'll be here until -- well, that's undetermined. So. Yeah. Living suspended.
But for now, I suppose this is home-away-from-home.
The lake house is now our HOME.
It's a cool little place. Quiet. Beautiful view of a country hillside behind the complex. Awesome sunset views. Lovely, intoxicating sunsets.
Oh, and the third floor is great for privacy. A pain for early-morning dog walks -- yep
or hauling in groceries..-- DEFINITELY.
And nope, no elevator!
Yeah, well, I think of it as just another chance to exercise.
God knows I need it.
And besides. I'm pretty sure third floor is too high for mosquitoes.
Mosquitoes are afraid of heights. Right?
"So it seems," she grinned with delight.
It's all good.
My tiny little balcony is cozy and candle-lit, bordered with plants and flowers and comfy things. I must have access to the outdoors. The little balcony is an extension of my living space.
I listen to the quiet, punctuated with tenants coming and going, my Billie Holiday playing softly in the background. I wonder if they've figured out that I'm an old soul...a jazz lover. People seem friendly here. It's a colony of dog-lovers. Chessie seems to have adapted just fine.
Me? I'm still waiting to "settle in" to this chapter.
But how does one settle into a state of suspension?
I can't even remember the last time I posted on my blog. Not that it matters. I basically am writing to myself. But, see, I believe in the cathartic bliss that comes from spilling your thoughts onto paper a journal. So here goes. I'll start and end with the things that make my heart happy these days.
Ray LaMontagne. LaMontagne??? How's that for a sexy name? And WHERE has HE been all my life, and why am I just now discovering him. His style wraps my heart into one big hug. And isn't he gorgeous? I have listened to this man's music all day. I have Amazon Prime, and the Amazon Music Player, and after hearing one of his songs on Pandora while painting (and sipping wine) yesterday evening -- I can't even remember which song it was that I heard now -- I pretty much jerked to attention, glancing to see: Okay, WHO is THAT VOICE!!! And to my surprise and salivating delight, his music was included on Prime! How about THAT!
I spent the next several minutes downloading song after song after song ... Oh. How. I. Love. His. Music.
And to anybody who stumbles upon this blog? Just take a listen. Get lost in THIS.
My gym has a cardio movie
room, dark and dimly lit, huge screen for watching movies. I usually have my music cranked. I watch, rarely listen. Too busy jammin' to my tunes. And then we have a cardio loft that overlooks
the weight room below, with several TVs suspended from the ceiling along the
front of the cardio machines.
Historically I’ve toggled from the cardio loft to the movie room when
doing my cardio at the gym.
But for the past few weeks, I’ve
been using it for my running. I’ve
discovered it’s FAR easier on my joints and knees than running on the pavement
in our neighborhood. And yes, it gets a tad boring running around in circles, hamster-like, but as long as I have good
music on my MP3 or iPhone, I’m good to go.
I miss the fresh air...I miss the moon
-- love the moon! -- but that cushy turf is the draw!
So I’ve been working on
building up my endurance. If you don’t
run regularly, you lose your stamina.
And I want to get back to running a solid 30 minutes without stopping. So I’ve been slowly building back up. My mantra this morning…
Just breathe…
you got
this…
this is nothing…
Look at you...
you’re floating like a kite…
That's it...just breathe.
That’s what I do. Mind games.
Constant mind games, whether lifting or
cardio, when it starts to break me down, I fight back with mind games. Mantras. Self-talk. And music. Gotta have that music.
I ran for 22 minutes, then
headed to the weight room and got in 40 minutes of back and ab work, including
one hamstring/glute exercise thrown in for good measure. Circuit training, higher reps, minimal rest.
When I left the gym this
morning, I was still floating a few inches off the ground. I almost have to work at suppressing a loud and sustained “YESSSSSSSSSSS!” as I’m walking to my car. My head was clearer, my mind emptied of the
muck and misery. It’s like a Happy
shot. Yep, I gotta have that Happy
shot. Time for my Happy shot again. It’s the best medicine on the planet.
I was at Walmart a couple
of days ago -- I don’t like shopping there and avoid it as much as possible. My son insisted that we get more green Christmas lights so he could finish his masterpiece on the front lawn. So I was taking the long route from the Lawn & Garden over to the
Groceries when I passed by the TV/Electronics/DVD section. I couldn’t help but notice how crowded that
department was. And as I began checking
out the customers flocking in and around, it dawned on me. Look at them!
Every single person in that section was overweight. Noticeably overweight. And I began to ponder on that… They’re google-eyed about the TV’s, the DVD’s…
that’s THEIR medicine. They're in their glory. Give 'em a big
screen, a big comfy couch, a stack of DVD’s, a remote control, and a bag of chips, and they're in paradise.
Attention, all you
movie-watchin'
TV-addicted,
lazy, brain-numbed shoppers!
Have we got a deal for you!
Free chips and sodas with
every $50 purchase!
They don’t have a care
in the world that their pastime is exacerbating their weight problem. An endless stream of commercials, seducing them into eating more and more fattening, artery-clogging food, as they poke it in and change the channel, hour after hour,
totally oblivious to what it feels like to get up off their asses and move
every now and then, take a walk. Just.get.up.WAKE up. BREATHE!
For each their own? I guess.
But as a tax payer, I’m having to pay for their health problems that are
self-induced due to their passive lifestyles.
And that ruffles my feathers a little.
No, a lot.
I made my way to the
self-checkout lane and scanned my few items, bagged them, and finalized my
purchase. As I was gathering my three
plastic bags of items, surely no more than 2-3 seconds after the transaction
had ended, the little robot voice very emphatically snipped (yes, it snipped, I'm sure of it), “Please remove your
bags.”
I guess I was taking too
long. And I don’t waste time, for the
record. It’s the way I roll, constantly
planning my next move. Time's a wastin'.
“Please remove your bags.” Really?
I half expected the next outburst directive to be “Please get the hell out.”
I wonder how long the
robot shouts at those shoppers in the TV/Electronics department, I giggled to
myself as I headed out the door.
Oh, how I do not like being at Walmart. I was already feeling the stress beginning to
smother me. C’mon, gotta get out of
here. Just breathe and keep walking.
We've been planning a kitchen remodel since mid July. Here it is the last week in September, and we're FINALLY gonna see the action. Wow, remodeling takes time -- and lots of patience. Far more time than I realized. Planning, research, bidding, budgets, costs, ordering, working out the scheduling nuances between the construction team and the floor guy.
Knowing that we plan to put our home on the market in three to five years and relocate to NC, we are aware that updates will be necessary to attract quality buyers, especially given the age of our home. Our kitchen is dated, and it is in bad need of a facelift. It should have been done years ago, but raising our sons, we seemed to never have the resources for such a huge and costly project. There were two other updates that HAD to be done, non-negotiable --- a new roof, replacing the air conditioning unit for the upstairs.
Though not essential, a few years ago we decided to build a stone patio to add aesthetic appeal to the exterior. And THAT project was my husband's baby. His forte is landscaping. It's what he enjoys, and he takes a lot of pride in our lawn, plants, garden and special exterior touches. He collected stone from his mother's farm and hauled load after load to our home, painstakingly designing, placing, cutting and laying the stone over the course of a few weeks -- with the help of our two oldest sons. The stone, fortunately, was free. The monetary costs of that project were rather painless -- except for his labor, of course. And he did a fantastic job!
As I think about how anal he is when it comes to our lawn and landscaping, it reminds me of the time I thought it would be nice to surprise him while he was away for the weekend and have the yard mowed when he arrived home. MISTAKE. I butchered the hell out of our yard -- the blade had gotten dislodged, of which I was unaware (long story for another post), and one side of the mower was cutting short, the other side rather tall. Atrocious sight! And I couldn't figure out why it looked so horrible, so I just kept mowing and mowing and mowing ... to FIX it! I've not offered to mow since.
Back to the kitchen update. So we've done our homework, the cabinets we ordered have arrived and are sitting in our garage. I keep peeking inside the box, running my hand across the smooth beautiful cherry/chocolate glazed finish.
It seems like forever trying to get this show on the road, but so much has gone into the planning, and ordering, and budgeting. Kitchen remodels, we found, are NOT cheap. We're looking at twice the cost of what we THOUGHT we'd have to spend. OUCH. Expensive undertaking! But hey, it needs done. So overdue. We figured we may as well get this done now so that we can enjoy our new kitchen for a few years before we put our home on the market and relocate south. So we bit the bullet and schmoozed our man Eddie (Eddie the banker -- he's a good guy that Eddie!) at our bank to secure a line of credit to help finance this. We're confident that this is a wise investment and trust that we'll profit with a nice return on our expense when we get ready to move.
Make it warm, please: We have oak trim throughout all of our home, and oak flooring in the kitchen, dining room and foyer. As a result, we've had to stick to a warm color palette. The oak? Hate it. It MUST go. But having to go with warm shades is actually right down my alley, since autumn hues absolutely intoxicate my senses. A coziness unsurpassed.,,,,,,,,,,,,I think of the warms of Spain ... THAT feel. YES. The color of warm.......It's like an innate thing with me...deep down into my soul....like warm whispers.....
So in choosing cabinetry, we knew without a doubt that the oak cabinets and those hideous shiny brass pulls HAD to go. Our new cherry cabinets will have oil-rubbed bronze pulls, and the cabinets will be staggered -- tall, short, etc. One set will be lighted with glass shelves, and seeded glass doors that reminds me of rain. We're going with stainless appliances, and they're due to arrive on Monday. My youngest son is most excited about having a new stainless frig. He hates our current frig -- we all do. It's old, and ugly and somewhat falling apart. But it still works, and so we've just put up with it, waiting for it to die so we could replace it. It's TIME.
The only snafu we've run into is our granite. We've been to the local granite dealer several times trying to find the granite we want, and because we didn't get our line of credit finalized in time, they sold the granite we'd chosen to someone else. It was one of those show-me-the-money-or-your-granite-gets-sold. So another trip back to the yard when the new shipment of that line came in, and since not all granite is the same, sure enough, it had some peachy, weird hues vs. more cream. Nah! Not digging that. And I'm not paying that kind of money for granite unless I find exactly what I want. So we either wait and gamble on another shipment -- which could screw up the schedule and delay completion -- or make a road trip this week down to NC to another granite dealer to see if they have what we're looking for.
Of their choices on their website, I'm leaning toward Kashmir Gold. We need to keep it light. Our cabinets are cherry with chocolate glaze, and our oak floors, badly stained in places, will be stripped and finished a little darker, a light walnut of sorts -- out with that yellowish-orange-y ugliness. So we need the contrast of lighter counter tops with a little warmth added in. Our contractor says he won't need the granite for another two to three weeks, which is when he'll need to measure for the plumbing, so we have a small window of time to find our granite. The hunt is on!
For the lighting, we decided to go with three pendants for over the island. Right now we have only can lights. We'll keep some of those and add a few more in strategic places, in addition to the pendants! Warm...ambiance! Bring it on. I found these amazing pendants that were exactly the look I was going for (antique bronze) -- and with a chandelier to match for over the table -- and Lampsplus.com
Our garage is a maze of boxes -- the cabinetry, miscellaneous boxes of dishes, wine glasses, kitchen goods, non-perishable groceries, and decorative items that I've had to box away to get ready for the demolition Monday morning. I've emptied, and emptied, and emptied -- cabinets, drawers, shelves, pantry -- then boxed, and bagged, and tagged and hauled to either the garage or upstairs to an empty bedroom, their holding place. The old cabinets come down, the lighting gets moved and removed and replaced, the ceiling patched, the plumbing relocated...and the list goes on. The construction guys will drape heavy plastic all around the kitchen area to keep the dust down, and we'll be camping and cooking out in the living room with the bare necessities: coffee pot, microwave, crock pot, and a makeshift table/counter with a few chairs. I'll be washing dishes in a tub out in the garage every evening in the utility sink. I foresee eating out at least three times a week. Their call, not mine. Me? Give me a tub of Trutein protein, a coffee pot, and a grill, and I can make do for quite a while. But the men of the house are gonna want real food and more variety. Whatever.
This is definitely going to be messy and challenging. And it won't be easy. But without a doubt, it will be worth it in the end......Psssst....I can't wait!
The unpredictability of hormones. The demons that haunt women, coming out of nowhere like a bat outta hell. Bam! You try to run but you can't really hide. It serves only to prolong the misery.
I TRIED to hide. It's that whole leave-me-the-hell-alone, I'm-having-a-pity-party mood thing. Retreat from all forms of life. My bones ached. My breasts get sore. My appetite goes out the roof. And I'm just a wee bit, uh, bitchy? See, the thing is, I'm supposed to be over this shit.
My last trip to the gym was last Thursday. A full week ago. We left early to go to Gavin's for his GF's graduation from Duquesne's nursing program on Friday, so no time to go then. We got home late Saturday, so that means "leg day" got skipped. Unthinkable! And Sunday was when Whormone Storm hit, and I haven't been quite right since.
(Note: He's working toward his first body building show this fall!!! MOMMA'S SO PROUD!)
So, I dragged my ass out the door on Tuesday morning for HIIT cardio outdoors, thinking it best not to inflict my misery on others around me. Being out in the morning air in solitude seemed like a better plan. I ran eight intervals on the hill in our subdivision, walking back down the hill for recovery. On my way back to our house I did intervals of 20 walking lunges, brisk-walk recovery for one minute; repeat; until I'd done 100 walking lunges. A total cardio workout of 40 mins. Felt great. By the end of the day, I still wasn't feeling my best.
On Wednesday, more of the same. Still fighting demons. So I decided to do light stretching, then 20 minutes of Callanetics -- a very focused, mind-to-muscle session, remembering why I love this workout so much; followed by 23 minutes of Turbo Jam Cardio Party to get my heart rate elevated and torch some fat. I dropped into bed last night weary to the bone, frustrated that I felt so out of sync with myself, and determinted to go to the gym on Thursday, regardless of how tired (or bitchy) I felt.
This morning, exiting my hideaway, I made it to the gym, beginning with 10 minutes on the elliptical, and then promptly launching a metabolic shoulders and ab workout, no resting between exercises:
Lateral raises, 4 sets, 10 reps
Bicep curls, 4 sets, 10 reps
Rear delt flyes, 4 sets, 10 reps
Supersetted with V-Up double-crunches (15) and raised-leg-lift/twists (15) with the an inflated exercise ball.
Then...
Seated DB presses, 3 sets, 10 reps
Isolated bicep curls, 3/10
Lateral throws/squats, 3/15
Supersetted with a circuit of side plank crunches (20 per side) and 1-minute planks, no rests between exercises.
Halfway through my workout my second wind kicked in and I was running high octane, flying like a kite, my aches and pains and bitchiness conquered by my euphoria. Oh, the music...! Eau yeah. Where's that volume control....! Yep, life IS good afterall.
I wish everyone on the planet could experience this kind of high. We'd have far fewer overweight, disease-ridden masses. It's absolutely the best drug anybody could ask for. There is none better.
Dig outta your cave, outta your hideway, crank up the tunes, and just get at it.
