Morning coffee on the porch while reading magazines...
A protein bar with that morning coffee...
Feeling focused after another successful clean-eating week...
A blue-skies, gorgeous sunny day...
A kick-ASS glute/ab/hamstring workout...
Leaving the gym soaked to the bone (and hungry!)...
A yummy chocolate Trutein shake post-workout with an ounce of Cheerios...
My latest chalk painting project(s) waiting to be finished...
You know, jeans are a wonderful thing. They're comfy. They're practical. They're easy and versatile. They're stylish -- well, hopefully. A great pair of jeans on a woman (or a MAN!!!) just shouts confidence and sex appeal.
Unless you would be stupid enough to wear these.
Ugliest jeans on the planet. I can't believe ANYONE would want them, must less that they sold out (supposedly). Who knows, maybe they only had one pair in inventory?
I mean, c'mon. Skinny jeans are touch-n-go anyway. You really DO have to be blessed with the right body to wear skinny jeans. Most women should NOT wear them. Add to that the ridiculous new fashion craze, the high-waisted jeans, which IMHO serve only to make both your gut AND your hips look twice as wide.
I'm a Gemini. Not that I place a lot of conviction in "signs," but rather that I find them somewhat fascinating. Curious.
What I find that DOES hold a bit of integrity is that I really am a split personality, as Geminis are known to have. The Twins. I'm kind and sweet one minute, but cross the line and I'll tear into you like a junkyard dog. See, it's that line ya gotta watch out for. That very fine line.
Likewise, depending on which twin is running the show for the day, I can either be pretty laid back and go with the flow, or I can morph into a relentless control freak. It's a bit shameful, actually. I don't want to admit to this!
That's where I am right now. A little OCD going on here, people.
I've been Googling the worldwide web for tips and suggestions, guidance, on what the HELL I'm doing wrong on my latest chalk paint endeavor. I began last weekend the project of repainting my kitchen table and chairs using chalk paint. My first two projects had been SO successful, I thought I had this down. (Scratching head here, frozen frown.) But the final step, applying the clear wax over the chalk painted finish, has been anything but smooth -- play on words -- and I'm ready to say, "Oh, firetruck it," and resort to a typical furniture wax like Johnson's Paste Wax, rather than the wildly popular, gotta-have-it, nothing-else-will-do clear Annie Sloan wax that everyone raves about.
Incidentally, my first two projects were completed WITHOUT using the infamous clear AS wax. I used a different brand of dark wax and a far less expensive clear wax bought at our local Home Depot. This should be a big clue.
Forty-eight hours later and still going in my Googling process, I've begun a Word document with all the little tips and advice from others, both novice and expert, who seem to have either mastered the art of waxing over chalk paint, or who have tried and failed (as I have) and have discovered the solution to their dilemma.
I found this blog post in my research and I LAUGHED OUT LOUD as I read along, relating with her pain. Very funny!
I'm now on page four of my compiled list of tips and suggestions. (So do I read this and commit it to memory? Will there be a test, Teacher?)
Overwhelmed? Yes. Determined? Hell yes.
There will be no white flag. I am going to figure this out if it kills me.
So I had my hair trimmed on Tuesday. I kept the length, but had her "take out" some of the fullness on the sides/back, thinking it would help it to "lay" better -- my hair doesn't LAY at all, it defies gravity mostly. I told her I still wanted the choppy thing, just a little less bulk. And that I wanted to keep my length at least for a little while longer until I make up my mind.
I goofed. I should not have had her take out the bulk, which resulted in more layers. Is it awful? No. It's really not. Does it look okay? Yeah, it looks fine. But if I could trade back to what I had BEFORE I began dabbling in the layers (it's been three steps in succession to where it is now), I would definitely hit REWIND. Ugh. Irritating. I see these awesome cuts/styles on women and it just looks so sexy, flirty, carefree. I love it. But unless you have the RIGHT kind of hair for those styles, you just end up looking a little bit like a troll doll.
Coarse, thick, slightly wavy hair. That is me. I need to embrace what I've been given and accept that I can't have it all. Some women would love to have my thickness, others want my natural wave. Others who have very fine, wimpy, poker-straight hair want my volume. And I want what THEY have.
Isn't that how life goes? We seem to always want what we can't have?
It is what it is. And hair grows. And mine grows fast. I should have my length back by Christmas.
In the meantime, I will work it with as much creativity as I can and make the most of it. It's a change, at least. I took a chance, proving that I'm not stuck in a rut, not afraid to try new things -- as so many women are. So many clones out there wandering around on this planet. Plastic, time-warped clueless clones.
That felt good to say that. Hah! I can make myself laugh.
It's really NOT that bad, just ... well, I've decided it just isn't my favorite.
I've enjoyed my new hairstyle for the most part. It didn't look as much like the inspiration photo, but I realize that that model's hair is finer and straighter than mine. Duh -- that just might be it! I have tons of hair, and on top of that, it has just enough wave to be annoying.
I've missed my length (a little), but it's nice to not have to work so hard at combing it out when I shampoo. I can style it in a little less time too.
So I think I'll keep the length where it is at least for THIS time, have her take a little more fullness out on the sides, keep the choppy-piecey ends (SO LOVE THE PIECEY LOOK!), and see where that takes me. Whether I keep it this length six weeks from now or shorten it again will depend on how I manage throughout the summer.
I can't believe it's been almost a full year since we last saw him. It hurts to even think about him sometimes, much less to speak about it. He's way too far away for "my own good." (Selfish? Eh. Maybe a little) I've tried to stay strong and proud and supportive and encouraging and all of those things a mother is supposed to be. I'm a master at stoic.
But sometimes I just miss him so much I think my heart will shatter.
I'm transcribing an interview for an attorney friend of mine. It was an interview of a seven-year-old little girl by a social worker. To help put the child at ease, the social worker prefaced the interview with some general questions to help establish rapport between the two of them. One of the questions was: "What do you like to do for fun?"
The little girl's response, in the sweetest, most straightforward voice, made me smile inside. Such innocence and sincerity from the mouths of babes...
Q Did you get to play in the snow yesterday? AYeah. My mommy build one snowman. I build two snowmans. And one of them was Lion King. QOne of them was Lion King? Oh, wow. I bet that was fun. AAnd sometimes for fun I like to also -- uh, when I get nervous I like to get out a reading book and read it because -- or, when I'm really, really nervous, I just go out -- I just look outside and it calms me down. And when I get so mad, I just get a coloring book and some crayons and color. Because coloring is like my thing.
I may have blogged about this once before -- my lines of memory are somewhat blurred. My Friday evening glass of wine may have a wee bit to do with that, but not entirely.
Musical Pictures. It was a distinct and vivid memory of kindergarten for me. In the early afternoon, just after lunch and "recess," we were asked to lie down on the floor on little mats -- yes, of course they were...little mats for little people -- and rest a bit while listening to music. Most of the time, at least as memory serves, it was classical music, or something similar. Always instrumental. This may have been my first exposure to classical (such a shame...INFANTS should be exposed at an early age to classical in my humble opinion).
After listening for about 20 minutes or so, we were then handed large sheets of sketching paper -- I remember it was sort of off white and sturdy... funny how we remember these details of life that leave lasting impressions -- and we were asked to illustrate with markers, paint, pencils or crayons the music that we were hearing. What did it call to our minds?
It was my favorite class.
To this day, I think about musical pictures all the time. I'll be driving down the road and hear a song and I think in images, the brush strokes of my mind filling in the details, whether fiction or reality. At times quite vivid detail. And for those few moments in time, I've escaped to that place in "my picture."
It's THIS part of my personality that most people may find a little wacko. But truth is, it's an INTEGRAL part of who I am. How we long to be understood, not misinterpreted. Because I'm NOT wacko. It's just who I am, who I've become over time. And these traits aren't always obvious...aren't always seen on the surface. In fact, mostly are not. But dare tap into my heart, scratch the surface a little, and you will likely find the deeper wacko side of me. The dreamer.
This artist, Ludovico Einaudi,
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL NAME, I want to repeat it over and over
has become one of my favorites.
I discovered him via Pandora about a year or so ago. I keep researching, sampling his music now and then. I hear most of it on my Windham Hill station of Pandora.
Arriving home late from work today, tired and thankful the week was finally over, I poured myself a glass of wine and clicked onto YouTube in search of some escape music. Release. And I found this.
Experience
Its seducing effect on me was deeply penetrating. An ushering of vivid musical pictures ...
Listen to Einaudi's "Experience" -- don't cheat yourself, listen all the way through, you won't regret the ebb and tide -- and indulge your mind's eye of illustrations. Abandon all other thoughts, problems, duties, commitments, rules ... as you let the music release you. Are you there yet? What do you see? Is it anything short of spectacular?
Go ahead. Breathe. Escape. It's Friday. It's time to exhale.
Morning coffee on the porch while reading magazines...
