Life Verse

It's All Good

I was talking with a friend the other night who told me that her son had cracked the screen of his new iPhone 6, and though he had insurance, there was still a $200 deductible to replace it.

That’s ridiculous.  Two Hundred Dollars for a deductible -- not for an automobile.  For a PHONE.

My youngest son has gone through a few (too many) phones as well.  After his last “incident” which destroyed his iPhone 4 -- which, by the way, was the SECOND iPhone 4 he’d had in the last six months, this one being a replacement to his first one to “hold him over” until the iPhone 6 was released -- I told him he’d had to make do with an antique replacement that we bought off one of Zach’s buddies for $30 until he saved enough money to pay for half the cost of his new iPhone 6.  He would be eligible for an upgrade in mid August, but there would still be a hefty cost associated with this new “amazing technological advancement.”

During the waiting, for whatever reason, he could not directly text his dad with this antique phone.  The messages would not deliver, but they’d deliver to my phone, no problems.   He normally would only text me when he needed something -- come get me, pick up X at the store, etc.   Suddenly, I began getting far more texts.  I became the middle man. 

(He's recently begun dabbling in the market.)

He has since gotten his new iPhone 6 and taken pleasure in showing me all its bells and whistles.  I look at my iPhone 4, which has served me rather well.  Yes, it’s smaller than the newer models.  Not as many features.  The camera isn’t as good.  It needs a new screen protector.  But there are far more important things on my gotta-have-it list than an upgrade to new and improved.  

• A knee-length camel wool coat
• A new coffee/cordovan leather purse
• New gym clothes

Besides, this kitchen has put a crimp in our budget for ... well, for quite a while. And those things on my wish list?  Well, they're going to have to wait.  Maybe next year?  My black winter coat will last another winter -- or two.  And my purse doesn't have a wow factor, but it's functional.  And my gym clothes are getting slightly ragged on the edges, but grunge is fashionable, right?

It's good.  It's all so very good.  I'm loving my kitchen.  It's definitely been worth some sacrifices.  A little less spending for a while, a leaner Christmas.  No new iPhones.  

And as I gaze out the window of my new kitchen and feast on the morning light showering my mums, I smile inside.  I think I'm ready for another cup of coffee.

Who Needs Google When You Have a Teenager Who Knows It All?

After two shots at raising teenagers 

-- make that TWO TEENAGE SONS --

one would think the third one would be easier.

I have so much to more to learn.

So many unanswered questions.

I thought I had this mom thing down.

But I definitely do not.

Why does everyone make such a big deal

about the terrible two's?

That stage was NOTHING in comparison

to the teenage years of 15+.

Having worked in the court system for 30 years,

I have heard it all pretty much,

the horror stories and heartaches of raising teens.

Some learn.  Some never do.

Whose fault is it?

Why can't they understand that we do what we do

BECAUSE WE LOVE THEM?

Sometimes the frustration

of feeling so inadequate as a parent 

is more than I can bear.

My lifeline in times like this is my 

Eternal Compass.

I'm thankful that He 

KNOWS EVEN MORE THAN GOOGLE.

And that he loves me enough

to never leave my side.

Ramblings and Rumblings

I was greeted at the door by Chessie as I juggled the groceries I had grabbed on the way home from work.  The temps had dropped to 6 degrees by the time I had arrived home, and I welcomed the warm rush of air as I entered.  Simple pleasures and ushered thanksgiving.  

After putting the groceries away, I made a pot of coffee.  My coffee cup in hand, I eagerly made my way to the sofa, snuggled into my favorite blanket, a velvety red-and-black plaid microfleece , and blissfully sipped my coffee while channel surfing.  The perfect night to snuggle.  Watching TV felt strange.  I rarely watch TV, but tonight I was eager to hear the weather report on the local news.  They call this a Polar Vortex.  Crazy cold!  How cold will it get…?  Thankful that I had nowhere to go, nothing to do.  Winter had arrived. 

I’d gotten an email earlier in the day while in court from Zach announcing that his Christmas package had finally arrived.  I giggled when I paused between hearings to read his email from my cell phone: 

“Package arrived finally.  Yes, you read that right.  It's here."

I quickly emailed back:  “SWEEEEET!  Talk to you tonight on Skype.”

Around 8:30 p.m. I set up my laptop by the Christmas tree that I’d intentionally left decorated for Zach so that it would feel more festive opening his gifts.  We Skyped with him for about 45 mins, watching him open his gifts from us as he chomped on the Christmas candies and goodies I’d attempted to vacuum pack (thankfully) to preserve their freshness in transit.  I’m sure if they tasted bad or stale, he would never have mentioned it.  He seemed eager to devour treats – the good stuff-- from home.  

Pour guy.   Japan’s idea of “candy” is rather obnoxious and unappetizing.  He’d sent our family a tray of gourmet candy from one of the local shops there.  Nasty stuff.  Maybe it has to grow on you?  Not sure.  There were two pieces that looked like dried oysters.  And a couple others that were green-tea flavored??? Nah.  I think I’ll stick to America’s version of “sugar plums.” Butterfinger Santas.... Russell Stover chocolate-covered marshmallow Santas... chocolate truffles.   Zach has lost weight (of course he has!) since he first arrived in Japan in August, and he’d asked for new dress khaki’s and a new belt, two sizes smaller.  He seemed appreciative of his new clothes and planned on wearing them that morning to work.

  

After signing off with him, I announced to my husband that it was time to do our push-ups and planks.  I had informed him yesterday morning that we were going to start doing this P&P routine three times a week, with a progressive approach.  It was the very least he could do if he wasn’t going to make an effort to go to the gym with Colton or me.  Of course, he wiggled loose, coming up with a lame excuse to get out of joining me in the family room floor.  Rather than waste my breath in protest, I completed a few sets of pushups and weighted planks on my own and then headed to bed – frustrated. 

Will he ever give a shit?  

As I was leaving for work this morning, he came downstairs to get my approval on a new shirt I’d gotten him for Christmas.  I wasn’t going to lie to him just to make him feel good.  It looked nice, but it was too snug.  He agreed, announcing that rather than buy bigger shirts, he was going to “lose this weight.”  I told him – for the umpteenth time – that it would be far easier to lose the weight if he’d start lifting weights and spend 30 mins a day 3 or 4 times a week doing some form of exercise.  He flinched and whined and didn’t want to hear it, but at the same time he agreed that he was going to “try.”

My mind toggled to an article from last Sunday’s Parade, “Going the Distance,” about a 94-year-old retired school teacher, who, at 77, entered her first “masters” track and field competition.  The article was so incredibly inspiring, I read it at least twice through and have archived it.  Quoting from the article.

“We think longevity is probably about 70 to 75 percent lifestyle,” says Angela Brooks-Wilson, Ph.D., a geneticist in the Genome Sciences Centre at the B.C. Cancer Agency in Vancouver.  That means just a quarter of healthy aging is about the protection you inherited, and up to three-quarters is determined by how you play the hand you were dealt.

In the last six years+, health and fitness has become an inseparable part of what defines who I am as a human being.  It is quite possibly my single biggest passion.  At the risk of coming across as a relentless bitch, I cannot back down.  Maybe I’ll never get through to him, but I won’t stop trying.  I won’t quit.  Quitting isn’t part of my vocabulary.  We have to take responsibility for our health and well being.  We aren't getting any younger, and this is no longer rehearsal.  It is about quality of life.  It's time to take things seriously.

We owe it to ourselves.  And to each other.  

Smiling Big Today

We didn't think Gavin was going to get two

consecutive days off for the Thanksgiving holiday,

allowing him sufficient time to come home.

I was bummed.

I'd already begun to plan making the trip to PA

to see him this coming weekend.

I just found out that he's COMING HOME!

He gets both Wednesday and Thursday off this week!

He hasn't been home since early summer!

And he's bringing his new "baby,"

Phelan

his Alaskan malamute puppy.

(Oh, boy.  Poor Chessie...she'll be traumatized for months!)

I'd better get busy... got lots of cooking to do...

and cleaning...

and planning...

AND CELEBRATING!

We'll all get to Skype with Zach in Japan

on Thanksgiving Day evening!

I am beyond thankful.

Life is Good.

Casual Conversations

It has occurred to me more than once as years have passed that we forget the casual conversations in life that tend to have little or no significance -- at least at the time they're taking place.  It is later that I find myself wishing I could recall those conversations more clearly.  Or at all.  Sometimes only threads, pieces of the conversation might come to me.  Sometimes I forget them entirely. 

These little casual conversations are what make bring the ordinary to life.  Full blown color.  HD.  Meaningful.  Memorable.  They tend to add credence to our relationships with others. 

I'm going to begin blogging conversations now and then as a way of preserving them.  Something tells me that I'll be glad I did some day.  They may not seem very important now, but some day...yeah, some day they'll be far more precious.

 

THE FAT CAT

 

C:     Hey, Mom...(pouring himself a glass of milk)...we just saw a fat cat a few blocks up the street...like FAT...HUGE/FAT...(laughing out loud now)...he saw us coming and he kind of like scooted out of the way, kind of, rolling out of the way... big ol' belly....(laughing)...."uh, let me get outta da way...here comes a car..."  (laughing)

ME:     (Laughing as I'm placing an online order, listening, typing away) Yeah, well, we kind of have the Cat Ladies to thank for that.  They go out every morning with their little plastic bag of food, and cats from all over the neighborhood come running like their tails are on fire........why they think that's okay to do that, I have no idea ...

C:     We're gonna have an entire village of fat cats...

ME:   Yeah...They should stop that crap...those cats aren't exactly "starving cats" to start with .... and when I'm running in the morning, they see me coming and think I'm the Cat Ladies...they practically run right up underneath my feet....gotta swerve out of their way....

C:     (laughing) ... yeah, and they say to themselves, "False alarm.  It's just that mean woman ...and I don't think she likes us anyway...."

ME:   (laughing)....Yeah, "...It's that mean ol' bitch that NEVER feeds us....get out of her way!!!"

C:     (laughing) .... yeah....well, that fat cat needs to go without food for a week or two....

 

Casual conversations.  I'll look back on this some day and my heart will smile.

 



 



 

 



Consider the Birds



This photo

snapped yesterday afternoon

from my kitchen window

portrays

quite effectively

the month of February

in the life of T...

wholotta

rain

cold

blahs, boredom

and

misery-induced eatin'!

 

The distinction being,

that little bird has daily earned his license to pig out.

 

Stay warm, buddy.

March begins today.



 

To live content with small means,

to seek elegance rather than luxury,

and refinement rather than fashion;

to be worthy, not respectable,

and wealthy, not rich;

to listen to stars and birds,

babes and sages

with open heart;

to study hard;

to think quietly,

act frankly

talk gently, await occasions,

hurry never;

in a word,

to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious

grow up through the common --

this is my symphony.

 William Ellery Channing

Face Value?



Just read this headline on Yahoo:

Dad Pays Kid $200 To Quit Facebook

 

Broken News Daily

 

 "14-year-old Rachel Baier of Massachusetts has found a way to make money off quitting Facebook. Rachel’s dad Paul, posted a legally binding Facebook deactivation agreement to his blog this week. In it, Rachel agrees to quit Facebook for five months in exchange for two hundred dollars. The contract also states that Rachel plans to use the money to buy "stuff". So...good deal or bad deal?"

 

Darn.  Wish I could find someone to pay ME for deactivating my Wastebook  Facebook account.  I could use the extra cash AND extra time. 

And I'd even bargain for less than $200.

 

 

You Can Lead a Horse to Water...

 You can lead a horse

to water, but

you can’t

 make him drink.

 

Sweaty and worn out, I had just arrived home from my spinning class and was having some post workout nutrition -- dinner.   My husband tells me I look sexy when I'm sweaty, hair all mussed up, dressed in workout clothes.  Hmm.  Imagine that!  That's nice.  Irritating, is what it is. 

 

I'll finish my story.

 

So my youngest son walks by, having just showered after finishing up his own lifting session with some of friends.  This conversation ensues:

 

HUSBAND:    Have you noticed C lately? 

 

..................(to C)  Turn around, let your mom see your back.

 

(C complies sheepishly)

 

ME:     What?  His muscles?  Yes, I've BEEN noticing that for a long time.  It's very noticeable.  He's really gained a lot of muscle in his back, chest and arms.  He looks great!

 

HUSBAND:     Yes, he does.   You can really see the difference just in the last few weeks.

 

ME:     Yep.  It's that hard work and good genes.  He's blessed with being able to add muscle easily.

 

HUSBAND:      Uh-huh...

 

ME:      (in an encouraging tone, smile on my face)  Yes, just think.  Imagine how YOUR body would transform if you were to lift weights now and then... !  (smile fixed on my face, dead stare.)

 

HUSBAND:     (reciprocal dead stare; no response) 

 

 

It's very strange. He's quite the cheerleader.  Quite the advocate.  And I get compliments from him on my efforts at staying fit, working out, all.the.time.  My sons get kudos and support from staying fit, getting strong, working hard. 

 

Yet no matter how I approach this subject -- and believe me, I've tried every way known to man for years and years and years, even avoiding the subject entirely, still ... I run into a brick wall with his reciprocity. 

 

In a word?  It hurts. 

 

Isn't one of the first lessons we learned in kindergarten to "play fair" ... ?

 

quid pro quo?

Yes, there's a lot of truth to what they say.  You can set an example, you can cover it with sugar, you can throw vinegar on it, you can disguise it, hint at it, analyze it, encourage it, ignore it, give credence to it, beg for it, plead for it, flirt for it -- the list goes on and on and on...

 

But some things just never change.



Come See Me

Resolve to be tender with the young,

compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving,

and tolerant with the weak and the wrong.

Sometime in your life you will have been all of these.

-Dr. Robert H. Goddard

 

 

I have heard this short little request countless times over the years.  My grandmother used to say it all the time to us, the grandchildren.  It was pure joy to receive a visit from any one of us, short or long.  The length of the stay didn't matter.  Just to see our faces when she opened the door, her genuine smile and laughter lighting up her entire aging body.  And even when she could no longer answer the door and her weak and failing body laid helpless in a bed, we'd still hear her little voice say as we turned to go...

 

"Come see me ..."

 

That haunts me.  Still.

My own mother began tacking that on the end of her phone conversations the last few years before her passing...

"... okay ... well, come see me…"

Sunday afternoon I made some festive Christmas brownies and placed them in a decorative container.  I attached a bag of Russell Stover chocolates to a grapevine wreath adorned with an adorable stuffed Santa, making it appear to be his "bag of goodies."  I signed a Christmas card and included a warm greeting of love, enclosing a family picture of the five of us taken at The Union Grill after one of Big G's games.  (Voila!  We have a decent picture of all five of us.  Mission accomplished!)

 

It was pouring the rain on my drive home from work yesterday.  I pulled into the parking lot of the assisted living home, gathered my goodies, and headed inside.  Once in the reception area, I hear the faint sound of a TV in the adjoining gathering room and notice a nebulous odor that is indicative of elderly homes.  Why?  I've never understood why that can't be masked.  More candles, air fresheners... surely someone has tried.

 

I sign the guest book, noting my check-in time, then head in the direction of the TV and quiet conversations.  I hear very few voices, mostly from the gentle questions of caregivers to the residents.  My eyes search the room and then I see her.   She is one of the stronger, livelier ones.  She's straightening a tablecloth on a table (that doesn't need straightening) where she's been seated beside another woman sitting wrapped in a blanket with her eyes closed.  As I make my way closer, she turns slowly, carefully, and then she sees me.  Will she recognize me today?  A bright smile adorns her face and her arms stretch wide to welcome me.  We hug.  I kiss her on her soft cheek.  She squeals with joy at the sight of me -- and the Santa wreath I'm holding for her.  She comments lovingly about her Christmas surprise, and she shows the wreath to her friends nearby. 

"Look!  Isn't it darling!"  Some respond with an empty look in their eyes ... no one is home, sadly ... and others smile and oooh and ahhh.   Then she happily and proudly holds her wreath and urges me to follow her to her room.

 

We spent the next half hour in her small room.  She showed me her bed, her lamp, her blankets, her dresser, her little frig stocked with yogurt and fruit and juice ("...but I have no spoons!" ...), her tiny Christmas tree and manger scene by her bed, cards she'd received from friends, photos of her grandchildren and family, her laundry basket -- she pointed that out to me two or three times -- her private bathroom and shower liner. 

Taking delight in her opportunity for Show and Tell, with a smile of approval I responded, "How nice everything is....You've taken such good care of your room and it's just beautiful!  It's perfect."  She asked me to hang her wreath on the wall and then she opened her card.  When she saw the photo, she teared up. 

 

"Your mother would be so proud of all of you.  She can't be here this Christmas.  It's such a shame.  I miss her, and Mother too."

 

She glances at the photo again then she smiles once more, that familiar grin.  I've seen it before on my own mother's face.  Her sister has that same funny little grin when things amuse her.

 

I give her the tin of brownies.  "For me?  Ohhhhhhh-myyyyyy.  Oh!  They look so delicious!"  We talk and visit and laugh and remember.  I tell her funny and happy things.  I reassure her, comfort her.  I hold her hand and smile.  We talk about the weather.  We talk about her laundry basket.  A lot.  She reminds me again that she has no spoons to eat her yogurt and fruit.  She tells me at least three times.  I assure her that she'll have a spoon before I leave.  (I later learned from her daughter via a text to me that she has tons of spoons but she hides them and then forgets where they are.)

We reminisce.  We talk about the past and those who have gone before us. 

 

I glance up to see my mother's picture above her bed and I blink away the stabbing pain of longing in my heart, smiling instead -- for her sake -- and reminding her how much my mother loved her.

 

As I get up to leave, I hug and kiss her.  She thanks me over and over for the gifts, the brownies, for visiting and talking with her.  And, as if on cue, as I turn to leave she pleads with me ...

  

Come see me…

 

 

 

 



We Gather Together ...

... and then we gather some more:

Branches, pine, pinecones, acorns, pods, leaves -- to name a few.

Thanksgiving was spent on my mother-on-law's farm again this year.  My son's girlfriend joined us for the first time this year.  I was a little worried about her getting bored -- no cell service, no internet, and only three TV stations.  Yes, it is THAT remote.  I wondered if she'd like the food.  I worried that she'd feel suffocated by the small, cluttered farmhouse.  I wondered if she'd wish she'd spent the day with her family, a large Italian famiy who gather each year in PA and painstakingly prepare hoards of yummy [fancy] spreads of food.  What would she think of our traditional,
      simple
Thanksgiving meal

on a small,

       remote
and very quiet farm. 

My concerns were put to rest almost immediately upon my arrival as we greeted each other.  She was dressed comfortably and cozy in VERY casual clothes, no makeup, a beaming smile, and a genuine warm hug.  Somehow I knew this was where she wanted to be.

During the three days I spent there we:

• Laughed
• Cooked
• Told stories
• Played board games
• Sat by the campfire each night under the stars
• Hiked
• Gathered wonderful bounties from nature for my Christmas decorating
• Shared stores while (some) of the men hunted
• Napped
• ... and gave thanks for the opportunity to gather together as a family in these simple and humble surroundings, a venue which beckoned our desire to slow down, to pay allegience to the things in life that matter most,  and give thanks for our many and countless blessings as we shared our Thanksgiving meal together around the table.

During my two days spent there, I was able to harvest wonderful tokens of nature's beautiful bounty to launch my Christmas decorating -- which begins today!  I'm sad to take down my fall decorations, it being my favorite season.  But Christmas decorating has always been fulfilling and fun as well, and as I write this blog post, I realize that time is wasting.  Having arrived back home last night, finishing up the calligraphy on my outdoor "carol sign," I need to get busy.  Lots to do today and tomorrow.  My guess is I'll be making a few trips to Home Depot, because I ALWAYS discover at least one more thing I need for finishing touches. 

And I simply CANNOT WAIT to see how my harvested finds from the farm will look when it's all done.  On my third cup of coffee... here I go!

 

 

 

 

How Can I Say Thanks

... oh, where to begin.

So over a cup of coffee early this morning, I fashioned this list.  I could go on and one, but this is a good start.

How Can I Say Thanks

·     My family and all that they represent in my life, past and present.  I cherish each and every one of them unconditionally.

·     Friends – one of the greatest gifts that life has to offer.  Friends fill a part of your heart that no one else can.

·     The ability to love - Love is a beautiful emotion and something we should be grateful for every single day. Your ability to love is what makes you grow as a person. Love can teach us deep lessons we would never learn any other way. It can teach us about ourselves and about others. It is an amazing feeling, and it is unmatched through anything else. It can lead to pain, or heartache, but it is worth every second to have experienced it at all. Love freely and deeply, for being able to love is what makes life worth living.

·     The ability to learn - Your ability to learn –Knowledge is a never-ending quest, and is a key player is a happy and fulfilled life. Never take the ability to learn for granted, considering that some people struggle with even the simplest things.  Relish in the knowledge of others and teach yourself as much as you can. You can never know too much, the more you open your mind to learn, the greater an experience life will become.

·     Our body – The human body is an amazing and interesting thing. It moves us, helps you, heals us, takes us places we want to go. Be grateful for your body and treat it with the respect it deserves. Fuel it with proper nutrition and care for it accordingly. Be gentle with it, and challenge it. Use it to the best of your ability, and most of all enjoy it no matter its shape or size. It is a great gift.

·     Children – They teach us so much about living. You need only watch a child’s free-spirit for a moment to see the pure joy they hold inside. Children living in the moment, without much regard for what has happened in the past. They love openly, without restriction, and they take pleasure in every thing they do. If you have children of your own, enjoy them every chance you get because they grow for too quickly and before you know it that time is gone. If you do not have children find ways to enjoy others, or embrace the values that they live by and find a way to incorporate them into your life. You will be amazed by how much you can learn from a child if you are willing.

·     Good health

·     My home 

·     Faith in God

·     Freedom

·     My job

·     Disappointments - So that I can learn what matters most and enjoy success that much more.

·     Happiness – The state of mind – not people, places or things.  Happiness is a choice.

·     Joy - Joy is deeper than happiness. At it's foundation, it is the security that Christ holds fast and gives peace, hope and comfort--even in the midst of hardship. Joy is rooted in the certainty that Jesus is our Lord and Savior, and He is in control, no matter what we endure.   Joy comes from being connected to him.  It comes from a deep trust,  an inner "knowing" that He is in control and that he is good.  No matter what.

·     Mistakes - Without our mistakes we would learn no lessons,

·     Kindness of strangers -  The kindness of strangers can be a magical thing. Look around you and observe all the wonderful things that people do for each other every day. These kind acts may not always be easy to spot, but they are there, and they are making a difference. When it happens to you, you will know it, and when you do it for someone else it may change their life. Always be aware of those around you, and be thankful for their kindness even when you can’t see it with your eyes.

·     Challenges - A good challenge makes us strong, teaches us about ourselves, and pushes us to our limits. Challenge is what makes us grow and what moves us forward in life. Be thankful for the challenges you face because they make life more interesting, and they push you in the direction you need to go.

·     Our pets  - Animals provide us with unconditional love, trust and companionship. Wild animals not only give us food, but also teach us about life and they cycle it takes. They show us strength, and give us all we need to survive.

·     Music – Music soothes the soul and is an extraordinary pleasure. It can enhance a mood, or change an emotion. It invokes memories, and creates new ones. It is a gift I am thankful for regularly.

·     Laughter – It truly is the best medicine, and something that should be exercised often. Be thankful you have reasons to laugh, people to laugh with, and the ability to do it at all.

·     Food –As you sit down for your next meal be thankful for every bite, and remember that there are so many people who have nothing at all to eat.

·     Dreams and goals - Dreams and goals drive us, and knowing they are a possibility is a true bonus. Dream big, set high standards and work to achieve all of your goals. They only thing that is stopping us from accomplishing anything is ourselves.

·     Talents – They are God-given.  They are not products of our own doing.  Give God the glory for your talents, whatever they are, utilize them, and be thankful for them.

·     Strengths – to use in order to help ourselves and others

·     Weaknesses – Because no one can be good at everything, and because they challenge us to work harder, or urge us to ask others for help.  They can lift us higher if used in the right way.

·     God’s creation and the world around me – One look around hastens immediate praise and adoration of our Creator.  The earth and its raw beauty is an amazing thing, nature offering healing powers like no other.

·     Parents – Parents are cherished because without them I would not exist.  Parents give love and nurture throughout our lives unconditionally and teach us life lessons of enduring legacies, leaving meaningful and lasting impact on our lives.

·     Second chances – the Gift of forgiveness.

·     Sunrises and sunsets - The beauty of the sun, the warmth it brings, and the beginnings and the ends that it represents.

·     The small things in life – Flowers, fall leaves, the first snow, giggles, friends, warmth of a fire on a cool evening, hugs, recalling fond memories.

"The Lord has done great things for us

and we are filled with joy."

Psalm 126:3