Urge to Purge

purge

verb

1.  to rid of impure or undesirable elements.

From Latin purgare, "cleanse, make clean; purify," especially of the body, "free from what is superfluous; remove, clear away."

I've been doing a lot of this lately.  Closets. Drawers.  Office.  Attic.  Garage.  
Countless -- yes, I've truly lost count -- trips to Goodwill.  (The Goodwill Guy said to me recently, "Is there anything left in your house?")

It's amazing how a person can accumulate so much STUFF.  Why do we think we need to keep things that serve no purpose?  Or maybe it's because we're busy people and we don't INTEND to keep it, we just don't have time  -- or take the time -- to sit down and sift through and throw out the crap.  And you gotta sift.  You really do.  Keepers are amid the crap.  Never throw out the Keepers.  

I came across a shoe box that was on top of one of the laundry room cabinets (why???  why there???) that had a bunch of my son's elementary school papers, drawings, notes from teachers.  Cracked me up ... and squeezed my heartstrings.  Keepers!

"Gavin feels the rules don't apply to him..."

That's my Gavin!

Oh.  This is "purge" in steno, by the way.  Yep.  Lots of extra letters, but that's how steno works.  (I love writing in code!  Nobody knows what I'm saying.  Unless you're a court reporter, of course.)

A friend once shared a snapshot of a license plate in NY

that read simply "fuck off" in steno.

But no one would have a clue that's what it said.

Too funny!  I wonder if that's taken in my state?

We court reporters love our code!

And so today is another day of purging.  Little piles at a time.  Whittling away at the excess.

REMOVE WHAT IS SUPERFLUOUS 

I've been collecting boxes a little at a time.  I have already taken out three or four boxes of stuff from my office, and I've filled countless garbage cans of CRAP from my office -- old files, correspondence, outdated supplies and equipment.  My last day as an official court reporter for my state is June 30th.  I'll take a couple of weeks off over the Fourth of July and then start my freelancing full time the middle of July.  I'm very excited about this new chapter.

This is a big year.  Lots of changes taking place.  I've been working very hard at preparing for this switch, official to freelance.  It's similar, but different.  I practice every day on my steno machine, perfecting my writing, memorizing phrases and shortcuts, working on increasing my speed, writing cleaner and more efficiently.  It's a process.  It never really stops.  It's what court reporters do, the ones who are most passionate about their profession.  We never stop learning.  There will always be room for improvement.  And the more skilled we become, the more lucrative our job opportunities.  Now that's a challenge worth my time! And that's my plan.  I'm in this deep.  

That R word?  Nah.  Retirement from my current employer after 34.5 years?  Yes.  But I have no plans of slowing down.  (Slowing down is written SLOUNG in steno by the way, one single stroke of the keys, BAM,  -- yep, I'm constantly thinking in steno.  I think I dream in steno!)   I've never been so passionate about my career as I have been these last several months.

Chapter Two awaits.

Saudade

Forever a word nerd.

It Hasn't Been Written Yet

I read this quote

over and over and over.

Until it dawned on me.

Yes.

I think.

Therefore I must.

Fer Lo and Behold!

My youngest son has been struggling these past few weeks in his language class as a sophomore.  I'm not exactly surprised at his shortcomings in spelling and basic grammar.  I knew this would eventually happen.  I've been begging him for years to read.  Just READ!  Read anything, everything -- SOMETHING.  Doesn't matter the type of book or content particularly, just find something that interests you and READ.  Not interested.  

When my sons were babies, I read to them constantly, hoping it would instill a love for reading.  In his earlier years, Zach wasn't as voracious of a reader as I was when I was young, but it began to grow on him as years passed, and as a college student, his appreciation for reading blossomed and eventually exploded.  He reads constantly now.  Gavin eventually began reading more as well, but not nearly as expansively.  I'm hoping Colton will cultivate a deeper respect for the eternal and limitless benefit of reading as he begins preparing for college.  

C'mon, son.  Don't let your momma down!  Read!  Read!  Read!

Misspelling of the Year for 2013

according to

Dictionary.com

furlough

It appears the most popular spellings from most of the misguided souls

furlo

furlow

ferlow

Really?

A piece of advice.

FNL - Go Deep

Go Deep.  Such a powerful little sentence.  One that can be interpreted in a myriad of ways, obviously.  But when I hear those two words, I instantly think of baseball.  I dated a guy (for too long) when I was a teenager who was all about baseball -- he played the sport, he worked in the clubhouse for our local Minor League team, and many memories of my time with him revolved around baseball.  We often went to professional baseball games together.  And I can remember when I'd hear that distinctive crack of the bat, I could expect to hear him shout:  GO DEEP!

Deep.  The word can describe length or depth or distance, or it can suggest the concept of complexity, seriousness.  Mysterious. 

A thought-provoking word ... DEEP. 

I consider myself pretty DEEP.  I'm certain I've always been that way.  And I've always wondered HOW I got this way.  Why am I deep?  I didn't consciously decide to be this way.  And I didn't even realize that my personality was "deep" until it was pointed out to me somewhere along the way in my earlier years.  Deep?  Me?  Really?  Hmmmm. 

But it is what it is.  I am deep.

Deep like the ocean.

Maybe that's why I'm inherently fascinated with the ocean...  It's as good an explanation as any.   When I close my eyes, I can still see it ... I remember...

I stopped counting, but these shots are only a handful of the countless shots I took of the ocean this past June while on Marco Island.  As I think back on that time, I smile... I remember the smell, the sound, the expanse, the speechlessness it evokes.  So beautiful.  It will always take my breath away.





 

Casual Conversations

It has occurred to me more than once as years have passed that we forget the casual conversations in life that tend to have little or no significance -- at least at the time they're taking place.  It is later that I find myself wishing I could recall those conversations more clearly.  Or at all.  Sometimes only threads, pieces of the conversation might come to me.  Sometimes I forget them entirely. 

These little casual conversations are what make bring the ordinary to life.  Full blown color.  HD.  Meaningful.  Memorable.  They tend to add credence to our relationships with others. 

I'm going to begin blogging conversations now and then as a way of preserving them.  Something tells me that I'll be glad I did some day.  They may not seem very important now, but some day...yeah, some day they'll be far more precious.

 

THE FAT CAT

 

C:     Hey, Mom...(pouring himself a glass of milk)...we just saw a fat cat a few blocks up the street...like FAT...HUGE/FAT...(laughing out loud now)...he saw us coming and he kind of like scooted out of the way, kind of, rolling out of the way... big ol' belly....(laughing)...."uh, let me get outta da way...here comes a car..."  (laughing)

ME:     (Laughing as I'm placing an online order, listening, typing away) Yeah, well, we kind of have the Cat Ladies to thank for that.  They go out every morning with their little plastic bag of food, and cats from all over the neighborhood come running like their tails are on fire........why they think that's okay to do that, I have no idea ...

C:     We're gonna have an entire village of fat cats...

ME:   Yeah...They should stop that crap...those cats aren't exactly "starving cats" to start with .... and when I'm running in the morning, they see me coming and think I'm the Cat Ladies...they practically run right up underneath my feet....gotta swerve out of their way....

C:     (laughing) ... yeah, and they say to themselves, "False alarm.  It's just that mean woman ...and I don't think she likes us anyway...."

ME:   (laughing)....Yeah, "...It's that mean ol' bitch that NEVER feeds us....get out of her way!!!"

C:     (laughing) .... yeah....well, that fat cat needs to go without food for a week or two....

 

Casual conversations.  I'll look back on this some day and my heart will smile.

 



 



 

 



The F Word

The Stuttering Kitten

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human Beings are the only animals that stutter",  she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the  Rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it,  he jumped over the fence into our yard!

"That must've been scary",  said the teacher.

"It sure was",  said the little girl. 

"My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... and before he could say "Fuck," the Rottweiler ate him!"

 

The letter F possesses negative vibes.  Take February, for example.  February has NOT been a good month for me.  Once again this year, I've fought moodiness and depression, no doubt brought on by the season and a list of age-related hormonal imbalances and FALLOUT.  To offset the gloom and doom, I have made bad FOOD choices, which have ended up being only temporary "facelift" to my depression, resulting in FAILED weight loss attempts, as well as compromising my hard-earned level of FITNESS.  All resulting in an ongoing vicious circle. 

February.  A month of failures.  Or, another way of saying it:  A month of fuck-ups.

The F word.

But I've been at this long enough to know that FAILURE is not FINAL unless you allow it to be.  In fact, failure can be constructive to long-term success if construed in a more productive perspective.
To concede to failure is a surrender.  A forfeit to fear.  It's quitting. 

And I am not a good quitter.  I may fail.  And I may fail a lot.  But I don't -- and won't -- quit.

I log on most days to ThinkExist to see whose birthdays they honor on their website.  February 26 happens to be Johnny Cash's birthday.  My middle son always liked Johnny Cash.  Not being a country fan by ANY stretch of the imagination, I can't say I share in that enthusiasm.  But I do respect the man for all that he accomplished in his lifetime, for many of the things he wrote and sang about, stood for, embraced. 

Reading his quote on "failure" today while visiting the ThinkExist website, it reminded me how important it is to make the most out of my failures these past weeks. 

Will I allow those failures continue to rob me of precious emotional and physical energy that I need to will myself back onto the right track of success?  If I think on "yesterday" long enough, that's exactly what I'm setting myself up for.  More failure. 

Let it go, T.  Fuck it.  Let it go.  You can't unring a bell.  What matters is today.  And the only way to make today more successful than yesterday is to pour every ounce of positive energy into turning this around.  Emotionally, physically, mentally.  My failures of yesterday are my opportunities to begin again today.

F may have stood for failure yesterday.  Today it stands for
flame
fire 
focus

Happy Birthday, Johnny Cash. 
And thank you for your words of wisdom which will live on and on in the lives of others.



Secrets

 

secret  [SEE-krit]

adjective

done, made or conducted without the knowledge of others; confidential; close-mouthed; reticent; hidden; concealed, secluded; a mystery

 (Live recordings ... the best)

My life gets kinda boring

Need something that I can confess…

Tell me what you want to hear

Something that will light those ears

Sick of all the insincere

So I’m gonna give all my secrets away

This time don’t need another perfect lie

Don’t care if critics ever jump in line

I’m gonna give all my secrets away…”

Wanna Play Scrabble?

An enjoyable weekend spent with friends and family.

I stayed up till midnight on Saturday night playing Scrabble with my family.  

Big G smugly challenged me to TRY to upset his winning streak.

Bring it, Big Boy.

Ahem.  I succeeded.

Scrabble braggarts beware:   

 

Don't mess with court reporters.

Time to Recharge

T       H A      PB G

TKPW      O              D

T           A   E         S

T  P    RAO EU        D

Taking the day off today, I was able to sleep in a couple extra hours.  Wow.  Two hours.  That’s a bonus.  My body should be very happy with that treat and respond favorably with added energy and mental focus. 

B    R      EU

                EU          T

             O         PB

I need to take a minute to prepare my checklist of THINGS TO DO today so that I won’t mismanage my time, so that I can make the most of my day off. 

I’ve focused heavily on perfecting my realtime skills this week, and I feel that I’ve made a good bit of progress. I seem to “hear” everything through my steno, as a result of the added focus and attention to my writing style and skills, differentiating the nuances of the English language that most people never even think about when listening to the spoken word.  I automatically write it in my head, I see it in steno with my brain.  An involuntary reflex.

(...So is that "cent," or is it "scent," or is it "sent" ...)

For instance, I attended a Republican Women’s fundraising dinner last night, two friends and I having been invited to sing as part of their “entertainment” – call it what you will – following dinner and before the introduction of candidates and slate of speakers.  As the speakers took the podium and laid out their itineraries, rallying the support of those in attendance, I found myself taking their speeches down in my head in shorthand.  It wasn’t intentional.  My mind just automatically started processing their words in “steno” in my head.  I tried to relax my brain and just LISTEN to the context, but having been immersed in a concentrated study and practice of writing more cleanly over the past week, it was hard to flip that switch. 

I’m used to rhetorical courtroom technology -- briefs and pleadings, rules of evidence, citations, objections, stipulations, motions for this, that and the other – legalese that has become so automatic and second nature for me.  A campaign speech, I found, was a bit more challenging.  I was hearing words in a whole different context, and it’s amazing how that can affect one’s ability to process information.  That initial element of hesitation:  What?  Do what?  The brain is an amazing machine, and it CAN learn and respond, but only after given a chance to adapt to the new stimuli through repetition, practice, and commitment. 

I think that applies to most areas of learning any new skill or habit.  The first few attempts at “new territory” can be humbling, confusing, frustrating, even disheartening.  But given the chance, our bodies in concert with our brain can quickly adapt and progress.  We are most capable of mastering whatever hurdle is set before us with patience, commitment, dedication, determination and perseverance.

It’s been a busy week, mentally challenging.  But I’ve made progress.  And yes, I’m glad it’s Friday.  I welcome the opportunity to get some other things accomplished, play Taxi Mom, fiddle with a project, work out, stretch, take a long bath with a glass of wine and some relaxing tunes, and UNWIND.  Recharge.

A nice steady rain would be fabulous.  Like the gardens and flowers of late summer, I’m tired, THIRSTY for that long overdue cleansing and renewal.