Adrian: Hey, can you tell me what's your name?
"My name is Roosevelt E. Roosevelt."
Roosevelt, what town are you stationed in?
"I'm stationed in Poontang."
Well, thank you, Roosevelt. What's the weather like out there?
"It's hot! Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my shorts. I could cook things in it. A little crotch pot cooking."
Well, tell me what it feels like.
"Fool, it's hot! I told you again! Were you born on the sun? It's damn hot! It's so damn hot, I saw little guys, their orange robes burst into flames. It's that hot! Do you know what I'm talking about?"
What do you think it's going to be like tonight?
"It's gonna be hot and wet! That's nice if you're with a lady, but ain't no good if you're in the jungle!"
Thank you, Roosevelt.
Too good! Some of the best lines from this incredibly funny movie. How I can relate!
Laughter...It's the best distraction when you find yourself in a really crappy mood, and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.
It's the weather! This heat and humidity! This shit is getting old.
Wait -- Where have I heard this before? Wasn't it about six months ago everyone was bitchin' about the cold and crappy winter?
Is there a place on the planet that doesn't have these extremes? I'm tired of being trapped inside 24/7. The only tolerable time to be outside is at sunrise, and there's even a blanket of mugg at THAT hour, evidenced by the opaque condensation clinging to the windows. But at least the sun hasn't made it to full blown scorch mode yet. I suppose it would be a tad easier to tolerate if we were one of the lucky ones with a pool in our back yard. But we're not.
Our Weather Guy is predicting cooler temps this week. But that's what he gushed about LAST week. It didn't happen. Not gonna hold my breath.
The thing about this muggy crap -- it plays such havoc on my mood. Hey, I'm already pre-menopausal. Add to that miserable muggy weather, and it's just not much fun being around me. My poor family -- victims. I just go into LEAVE-ME-ALONE mode. I don't wanna cook. Nothing tastes good anymore. What do ya eat when the weather is like this? I crave, but I don't know what I crave. Don't wanna go anywhere. Don't wanna talk to anyone. Don't wanna do much of anything. Just prefer to crawl into a dark, cool cave and hide there till fall.
I find myself using mind games every day to distract me from this heat-induced misery, but I'm desperate for ideas. And I'm frankly tired of pretending. Tired of the mind games. Tired of smiling when I don't really feel like it. I'm just ... tired.
Okay. Shifting into coping mechanism mode here: So I'll play one more mind game. I'll pretend that what the Weather Guy said this morning IS reliable. I'll look expectantly to Hump Day. Ah, yes, how much nicer it will feel out by then. I can taste it! Sure. Yep, I can tough it out today because that's only two more days of waiting for the breather. And at that point we'll be through one-third of the hottest month of the year. I can do this. Yep. What's a couple more days. Mind games...
C'mon, Weather Guy. Don't let me down this time.
2 comments:
I am sooooo on board with this one. Me and high dew points = cranky-ass. It just instantly crankifies everything and seriously no one wants to be around me. :(
Deborah, I SO get you. I just identify with YOU. The whole package. Your thoughts, your opinions, your humor...it's all there. I love you for everything you are and for everything you represent. It's like a comfortable, favorite shoe.
(NO, I'm not GAY)
I'm just really pissed that we don't live closer. You should be a bigger part of my life.
Hugs. :)
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