Time to Shine

Each of us has a fire in our hearts
 for something.
It’s our goal in life to find it
and keep it lit.
- Mary Lou Retton

It's been a while since I've blogged, and it seems a lot has transpired since.  In the interim, I have taken on a new challenge:  I have decided to compete in my first figure competition.  Of the four divisions for females -- bikini, fitness, figure and bodybuilding -- I have chosen to compete in the Masters's 45 and Over Figure.  Wow.  Gulp.  This is SO DAUNTING.

I've always considered myself rather modest when it comes to doing the showboat thing.  It always makes me feel a little gushy when I receive a compliment, not really knowing quite what to say, how to handle the attention, the flattery.  I MUST overcome that tendency to shy away from the camera and develop the necessary confidence that it takes to show well, to present my best, to be my best.  It's damn hard work, but I'm up for it, and I've already begun putting in the time and sacrifice (thus my absence from my blog).

For once, I've got to get comfortable with and embrace COCKY.  Self-assuredness.  Self-confidence.  Poise.  Balance.  Beauty.  Symetry.  Charm.  It's gotta all come together somehow.  And I have ten weeks left to pull this off.

I'm thinking I should blog now and then about my progress, my energy, my diet, my questions, my concerns.  It will be rewarding to be able to look back upon my journaling of this experience.



One of the fun things I have to look forward to and to decide is choosing the right color for my suit, something that stands out, that complements my skin tone as well as my body's strong points.  This should be fun.  (But expensive!)

When I announced to my family that I had decided to compete, I wasn't sure how it would be received.  I knew that my middle son would support me, be happy for me, because he GETS IT, fitness.  And he was.  HE WAS THRILLED.  (Cool - I'm stoked!)  My oldest son?  Another story.  He said nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Not one word.  I mentioned how much it meant to me to compete, the icing on the cake of my passion for fitness, and even more rewarding and meaningful because of my age and the commitment it takes.  Nothing.  Not a word.  My youngest just nodded, slight grin, a bit of a skeptical look on his face, as if to say:  Really?  You really ARE?  Seriously?  Oh, okay.  Whatever.  My husband has been 100% supportive from day-one, word-one.  Bless him.  He has no idea how much that means to me.  NO IDEA.

I've decided not to tell my friends.  Yet.  I need to warm up to this whole thing.  I'm testing the waters.  I'm daydreaming a lot.  My mind dwells heavily on so many aspects of this whole challenge, and it's a lot to wrap my brain (and heart) around for now. 

I know that I must decide and win this in my mind first before I can go any further.   My body knows what to do.  That's the easy part.  I have to win in my mind.  I have to master my mind.  It's my biggest hurdle that looms. 

And I will.

It's ME VS. ME. 

I will draw energy from my passion and focus strongly on the power it yields.

This won't be easy.  I understand what is expected of me in the weeks ahead.  I know it will be grueling the last few weeks, and especially the days leading up to the competition.

Finding balance with life, and work and this newly found commitment will prove what I'm really made of.  Like a muscle, the requisite courage to achieve can only be strengthened with use.  I choose to face this challenge with courage and intensity and purpose.