Goodbye 2013

A New Year!

Let's

be

happy!

Sensual Illusion

Isn't that a cool name for a song?  What word picture comes to YOUR mind?

As I sit here in the still of a dark morning, drinking my coffee and planning my day, this song plays quietly in the background of my Blank & Jones station on Pandora.  (What WOULD I do without Pandora?)

The music is my escape.

I'll be taking tomorrow off to drive to PA and spend the day painting Gavin's living room in his new little rental house that he recently moved into -- the one that accepts PETS.  It's old, but charming.  Needs a little TLC.  Every room is white with white trim and it's a little, uh, stark.  With lots of furniture and decorator touches, all white would be fine -- even chic.  But he has neither.  He has ME.  And his girlfriend will help me too.  She has wonderful taste.  She and I have been talking about a good paint color, and we've decided on a pale khaki-gray.  There is a mantel in the living room too that is painted all white.  It needs pop and character.  The good thing is that there are three windows in that tiny room, so it's light and bright and inviting.  I'm looking forward to this project -- diversion.

Hope he's dug out his dishes and kitchen stuff.  I'll need to find his coffee pot.

I'll be packing an extension gate (to keep Phelan out of the room), paint brushes and supplies, a step ladder ... and, of course, my iHome mini speaker to plug into my cell phone for ... what else?  MUSIC.

I'll be spending New Year's Eve there, and I wouldn't dream of being without music to serenade me throughout the day.

As this year comes to an end,

I reflect

I remember

I wonder 

I wish  

I dream 

I hope. 

Who's fighting?

Being so wrapped up in the busyness of Christmas, I've not had time to pay attention to my fitness agenda as much as I'd like.  And I've paid for it.  Not only do I have less energy, less strength, not sleeping as well at night, my back has also been bothering me for several days now.  At first I just thought I'd pulled a muscle, trying to recall what I did, when I did it, and coming up with no answers.

And then it dawned on me.  Callanetics.  When was the last time I did Callanetics!  That's it.  It had been almost two weeks since I'd completed a session of Callanetics, and when I go that long without it, my back is always the first to let me now.  It's amazing how therapeutic that exercise routine can be.  It seems so simple, so primary, one would wonder how it could possibly be worth one's while.  How could it be so effective?  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Upon realizing this, I took time yesterday to do about 40 mins of Callanetics.  I lit a candle, turned on the Winter Sonata station of Pandora -- the perfect accompaniment for Callanetics, soft, flowing, relaxing, contemplative...

Oh, to read the mind of Michael Whalen!

My body thanked me this morning.  I woke up this morning with no back pain for the first time in several days.  It's as if I'm walking on air, limber and loose and poised.  It's the best workout.  And it's even more effective if done consistently, no less than once a week.  

We went to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner last night.  Upon arriving and being seated at a high table in the bar section, our hostess asked if we were staying for the fight, and we replied no.  Thought nothing of it.  Just as we were finishing our meal, a group of guys next to us asked us if we were staying for the fight.  We replied no.  He said, "Oh, okay, we were just wondering so we could use your table...we have more friends joining us."  We obliged.  

It was a yummy meal.  Hot BBQ wings.  It hit the spot.  I'd been craving wings for a couple of weeks.  I was wearing my new black boots I'd gotten for Christmas, new jewelry, lots of layers -- always fun to wear layers in winter -- and I had moved on from my emotional storm of missing Zach and being distraught that he'd not received his Christmas gifts -- STILL!  I knew I couldn't dwell on this and drown in my muck.  It had been a sunny day, and as part of my "recovery" I bundled up and sat out in the sun to read my latest editions of Veranda, Vogue and Allure that had arrived in the mail, while sipping my green tea cleansing cocktail.  All methods to my "healing."

Leaving BWW, I was looking forward to maybe building a fire on the patio under the stars...or watching a movie via Amazon Prime...and I began contemplating my options ...

JFD:  Wonder what time the fight comes on?

T:  I’m NOT watching a damn fight.  You’re on your own.

JFD:  Who said I wanted to WATCH the FIGHT?  I Just wondered when it was coming on.  Did I say I wanted to watch the fight?

T:  Fine.  Whatever.  So... Who’s fighting?

JFD:  Who gives a shit?  I just wondered when it was coming on!  You jump to conclusions --

T:  Okay, okay!  I get it!  I just didn’t want to spend the evening watching a fight.  Just sayin’

JFD:  Did I say I wanted to watch the fight?

T:  Yeah.  Fine.  We’re moving on now.

JFD:  Fine...Good background music… 

Vivaldi's Adiago "Winter" had been playing softly - ironically - on the CD player. I had to giggle out loud.  Had to!  Life is funny sometimes.

Tis the Season to Be Jolly, However...

So.

Let's go to the movies

and laugh our asses off.

My Heart is Blue

Zach didn't get his gifts in time for Christmas.

We skyped with him.

We opened our presents from him.

He watched.

(Did I see him wipe a tear once?)

I ache.

I just do.

I'll be okay when he receives his gifts.

According to online tracking, they were STILL
in Chicago on December 24th.
I mailed them on December 10th.
Is it the 21st century???

I've had a blue, blue Christmas...without you.

The Best Gift

Gift package to Zach ... hope it arrived in time!

And as I sit in the quiet with a cup of coffee on this Christmas morning, everyone asleep, I reflect on the best gift of all and its meaning to my life,

echoes of stillness usher images...

Quiet and still...a long, long time ago...

Christ is born.

Our Savior to the world.

Love began.

Listen With Me

Gift wrapping...

baking...

Christmas cards...

grocery shopping...

cleaning...

planning...

I glance at my watch.

What time is it?

Do I have enough time to do ____.

Oh, and make a note about _____.

Don't forget to call ____.

And the laundry...always more laundry.

Where is the tape...that extra spool of ribbon I just bought...?

I know I bought two bags of chocolate chips...

Are we out of milk AGAIN?

Remember to get eggs.

What am I having so many hot flashes?

I'm so over this menopause crap.

I must stop thinking about _______.

Can somebody give Chessie some more water?

I need a red camisole.

Saturdays aren't long enough.

Why am I so emotional?

I wonder what Zach is doing...Is he happy...?

Someone's at the door!

I'm almost out of wine!

Oh, I forgot to go to the post office...

Why do people drive so slowly?

Why is that lady dressed in that ridiculous outfit?

Why do people drive in circles. waiting for a parking spot close to the door?

Are you really that lazy?

Where's the Windex?

Why can't I find pine-scented candles?

I wish we could have a white Christmas.

stop!

Just stop.

Turn down the volume,

the noise.

Shut off the distractions.  

Forget about unfinished tasks.

Take time to listen to the silence of the season.

Silent Night

Probably the most popular Christmas carol.

And one of my favorite versions is Enya's.

Not surprising...

I'm totally engulfed in the mesmerizing beauty of this music.

Lovely and lasting.

Sobering.

Have you heard this?

Do you remember?

Do you have time to sit down with me?

Listen with me.

Just listen.

Let all be calm this night.