Head Up, Heart Strong

It's key to both good form and good ethic in the gym.  But it can be just as meaningful when applied to dieting.  Dieting, as I long ago learned, does not produce constant linear weight loss.  It is why weighing oneself every day can be counterproductive when trying to stick to a weight loss program, ESPECIALLY if one is doing it the right way -- combing diet AND exercise, specifically a rounded cardio/strength building program of exercise.

My last two weigh-ins have had somewhat of a counterproductive effect on my willpower.  Somewhat, not entirely.  And that's because I've been at this long enough to know that allowing the numbers on the scale to validate my progress or worth is a huge mistake.

Friday weigh-in day two weeks ago, I was down only .6 lbs for the week.  And so I likely ramped up the exercise last week, thinking, "Okay, I'll show you.  I'm gonna train even harder this week and I'll see a bigger loss on the scale."  Not.  This past Friday's weigh in, I weighed exactly the same.  Shocking, actually, because my clothes were fitting better (of course they were) and I looked leaner in the mirror (of course I did) and I even had someone at the gym walk up to me and TELL me that I was looking leaner.  People are noticing.  And so why let that numbers game mess with my head?

Head up.  Heart Strong.  I know in my head that I'd been diligent with my diet and with my workouts.  And I know in my heart that I want this bad enough that nothing -- not even a stubborn number on the scale -- is going to stop me from pushing forward.

I've got this.  I'm a strong woman, both in mind and body.  Which is why I'll keep going, make the sacrifices, and put in the work.

This past weekend I had a few off-plan indulgences one evening.  I ate things I shouldn't and I know that I will have to make up for that with a little extra calorie burning.  But I can't allow that to become habit, "just a small and harmless indulgence."  I know better.

The frustrations will come and go.  I can give in and give up, or I can stay the course.

This morning I made myself a green tea cocktail for an added cleansing of toxins to counter the weekend's excess.  Made with three green tea bags, it also serves to dull my appetite.  I'm back on plan.  But this is not just a diet.  I have to remind myself that I feel awesome when I eat this way.  At so many levels.

Don't just live.  Live strong.  

Give Me Some Love

I discovered a giant thrift store warehouse last week.

A Habitat for Humanity sort of store.

Junk for days.

Anything you want or could possibly imagine.

A junker's paradise.

Does this imply that I've turned into a junker?

I'm working on embracing that concept.

Not now.

Up for discussion another time.

But I found this cute, dirty, sorely-in-need-of-love table.
A whopping $6.

The world saw this:

But I saw beyond ...

Beachy driftwood loveliness.

Can't you just smell the salt?

Hear the waves crashing?

And to maintain that creative spirit while "giving out love,"

my ears drink in Ludovico Einaudi.

The finishing touches await...!

The Essence of Pleasure is Spontaneity

The worst part was the downpours, lasting for over an hour on my way to the lake on Thursday evening.  The best part was being surprised by him on Friday evening after a long day of shopping.  The rest is pure icing.

Shortly before leaving town on Thursday, I heard from my friend that she would not be able to join me due to a conflict over which she had no control.  We were both equally bummed, but without hesitation, we committed to a rain check in the near future.  I arrived at the lake house around 8:15 and enjoyed a quiet evening dancing upon thoughts and drifting in and out of dreams.

Friday morning, I woke up early, had coffee and a light breakfast, then began tidying the place a bit.  I spent about 45 minutes talking to a neighbor -- another new acquaintance.  (It overwhelms me to discover that the neighbors here are incredibly friendly and welcoming.)  She was delightful, she and “Penelope,” her poodle mix.  They’d been out on a morning stroll when Penelope spied me tidying the back patio and tugged at her leash, heading my direction to introduce her prissy cute self.   In an exchange of smiles and pleasantries, I managed to gather lots more need-to-know tidbits of happenings and recent news in the neighborhood.  It was a delightful conversation. 

I spent the rest of the day in Charlotte in search of The Dress.  I’ve lost count on how many I tried on. Landing the right style, but not the right color, or the right color, but not the right size.  Up, sideways down and back, I just couldn't get it to work out.   Coming up empty, the day was nearing to an end, and with only a few more stores on my list to check out -- at least for the day.  I came up with the winner at Nordstrom’s.  Charcoal gray, fitted, halter style with a flat, silver chain-like piece laced through the neckline that attached in the back; adorned with a fine, subtle shimmer, casting a gray-navy hue of elegance.  Perfect?  Pretty damn close.  It fit very well, which is the only thing that worries me, since I plan on losing another 10 pounds before the wedding.  What if that changes how it fits?  She told me not to worry, I could return it for any reason within six months.  Works!  I’m throwing the dice on this one.  Let’s hope it won’t matter.  Much.

As I drove back to the lake, I planned to stop at the grocery store to pick up a salad and a bit of chicken breast for dinner.  Truthfully, I wasn’t looking forward to dining in -- alone.  Solitude is never an issue with me, but for some reason, this night was different.  Something in the air?  Perhaps.  The reason didn't seem important.  Orange and pink sprays of color drenching the sky made me long for a quiet sunset dinner for two…  You're so hopelessly romantic, T.  What IS it with you and the sunset fixations?

By the time I made it back to the lake and had gotten groceries, it was almost dark.  As I pulled in the driveway, I noticed the lamplight in the upstairs bedroom.  “I don’t remember leaving that lamp on,” I mumbled to myself.  Odd.

I opened the garage door and made my way inside with my shopping bags and groceries.  As I opened the door, my eyes went immediately to a candle lit on the mantle.  I panicked a little.  “Oh, no, did I leave a candle burning unattended ALL DAY!!! CRAP!”  But as I reflected further, I knew I had not lit that candle before leaving that morning.  I felt a little spooked.  Was someone in the house?  I dropped my bags in the darkened living room floor and walked carefully to the dimly lit kitchen, spying yet another candle lit, and another…and then the bottle of wine on the table, beside a note that read:  “A nice glass of red is just what you need after a long hard day of shopping.”

He had driven to the lake after getting off work on Friday to surprise me!  He'd even slyly parked his car down the street.  He had planned this to a T.  A weekend at the lake, just the two of us.  No plans, no commitments, no worries.  It was the most romantic thing he’s done in -- well, maybe ever, or at least in a very long time.  The rest of the dreamy details of the weekend?  Let's just say they're committed to memory?

Isn't it what every girl wants?  Sweet.  Thoughtful.  Romantic.  An unexpected surprise.

AND
SO
WHY

THE

HELL

NOT?

The essence of pleasure.  

What is the last spontaneous thing you did? 

A weekend to remember.  

PORT CITY CLUB DINING ROOM

GRABBING A BEER WHILE WE WAIT

OOZING WITH ATMOSPHERE

DOCKSIDE PATRONS

TABLE WITH A VIEW

A FABULOUSLY ROMANTIC EVENING

CREPE MYRTLE IN BLOOM

"Anything to make her smile," he said.

Lakebound!

Reviving the domestic diva within, I canned my third batch of salsa last night with the last round of tomatoes from our garden.  From the looks of it, I may be able to squeeze a few more quarts worth by the time the harvest is exhausted.  The recipe, “Rockin Salsa,” from All Recipes website, has been a winner.  I’ve tried a few different ones over the years; this one – with some minor tweaks based on the comments from the reviews – has proven to be the winner.  It has the perfect kick, texture, flavor, and just a hint of sweetness – I like a little “sweet” in the perfect salsa.  Of course, salsa is best appreciated served at room temperature, allowing the base flavors to come alive, as with other good and luscious things, red wine and cheese, to name a couple.

The plan was to get the last batch of tomatoes used up before heading to the lake after work today.  It will be a solo trip this time.  I should arrive just about dark tonight.  After unpacking the car, I plan to pour a glass of wine, light a few candles, and head out to the patio and enjoy the night air and quietude.

The plan for tomorrow is to head toward Charlotte, about 20 minutes away, and take in some great shopping on the hunt for the perfect Mother of the Groom dress.  Trying on clothes in a fitting room has not been on the top of my list for the last several months, having allowed the venomous Carb Creep to take its toll.  With recent successes, I'm feeling less and less anxious about it now.  Stepping on the scale this morning – even though Friday is officially weigh day, but I won’t have scales at the lake – I was down another 1.2 lbs since last Friday, not quite a full week since my last weigh in.  Bang the cymbals, ring those bells!  I’m so excited that I’m finally getting a handle on this weight loss thing.  My lessons of exercise and nutrition and fitness from times past have been invaluable in helping me stay focused and aware of the changes I’ve needed to make week to week.  I just wish I'd never allowed my weight to get this out of hand.  First it's the harmless five, then ten, then fifteen, as the mountain grows ever steeper.

My next mini goal is dropping an additional 4 lbs by the end of August.  I can do this.   So as I try on dresses, I’ll try to keep in mind that by wedding time, I clearly will be down another six to eight pounds.  So if by chance I find THE ONE, and it’s a little snug, it will just be added incentive.

The plan is to carve out a couple of hours by the pool on Saturday to grab a few rays and read the new book I’ve started, “Joyland,” by Stephen King.  I’ll be working on refinishing a desk I picked up at a thrift store to serve as my vanity dresser.  I’ve packed a palm sander and all the paints and supplies to take with me.  Can’t wait to see the finished product – transforming it from its tired-and-tacky, shiny cherry finish with brass knobs to a yummy soft gray, finishing it off with a bit of tinted paste wax for added dimension and character.  Isn't it all about building character?   And then a new set of pewter hardware.    

I’ve been in touch with a friend of mine from Winston Salem, hoping she can drive over and join me Saturday evening for girl time at the lake and dinner at this great restaurant next door that I’ve been dying to try out.  I’ve heard great things about the food, and the atmosphere?  Well, it’s lakeside, with tons of windows, so that pretty much speaks for itself.  Best of all, it’s within walking distance!  Literally NEXT DOOR.  The times I’ve been sitting down by the boat ramp and pier, I’ve watched the endless stream of patrons pulling up lakeside in their boats.  Oh, and the smells emanating ...heavenly! Port City Club.  I'm long overdue my first visit there.  So I’m hoping we can make a date! 

Looking forward to mornings and coffee and quietude in the sunroom,

overlooking my haven of R&R.  

This WILL be a good weekend!

Traveler

Time for a road trip,

perhaps.

5.5 Lbs Down ... Full Steam Ahead

When I stepped on the scale on June 29th for the first time in months, I knew I had to get serious and find my way back to focused, clean eating.  Most of my clothes were too tight --except for my "fat clothes," which had been pushed to the farthest recesses of my closet.  When the day comes that I'm forced without recourse to dig out those clothes, then I'll cross that bridge at that time.  For now, I had options.  My options included cutting out the mindless carbs and grazing, the high calorie, high carb indulgences while dining out on weekends -- convinced that I somehow DESERVED that stuff because it was the weekend and I was stressed and I needed reprieve and needed to live a little and, and, and...fill in the endless blank of excuses.  The truth is:  I had packed on 15 lbs over my desired goal weight, and the insanity had to stop.

I wasn't sleeping well.  My face was breaking out more.  I looked and felt older and tired, worn out.  My joints hurt.  And I simply didn't like looking in the mirror anymore.

I began seriously trying to eat clean and exercise on July 1st, just a few days before our trip to the lake over the Fourth.  While there, I indulged slightly -- the pressure of friends and family and celebrations and good food surrounding me.  But I didn't totally blow it.  It could have been worse.  Still, I knew not to get back on the scale for a few days after our return.  I needed to stay in a positive frame of mind to keep on track.

It's now been 31 days, a full month since I began again in earnest, and I'm down 5.5 lbs.  Though I would have liked to have been down another pound or two, 5.5 lbs in a month is a decent loss -- AND, most importantly, I can be assured that it's FAT loss, not just WEIGHT loss.  Fat loss is harder earned and the results are longer-lived.  More gratifying.  I worked hard, and it paid off.

Averaging three days in the gym with weights and cardio, and cardio all other days, usually one rest day, plus eating a quasi prep diet daily, has gotten me these results.  I allow myself one cheat meal a week, usually on Friday nights.  Alcohol on Friday and Saturdays only, usually red wine.  As much as I love a cold beer in summer, I know that its calories affect me differently and they're harder to counter.  I'm making sure I get to bed by 10 each night, giving me 7 to 7.5  hours of sleep.  I'm up each weekday morning between 5 and 5:30, depending on whether it's a gym day or a cardio day.  I'm making sure I drink three full 20 oz water bottles throughout the day, and another 20-30 ounces in the late afternoon and evenings, in addition to the coffee and green tea that I drink.  I try to tack on an additional 15-20 mins of light cardio -- usually walking -- three to four evenings a week.  I've found that my weekly losses have been best on the weeks that I was diligent with that extra cardio.  Coincidence?  Perhaps.  But I'm gonna stick with that strategy for a while just to see.

The wedding.  My goal date.  It's the end of November, which gives me four months to get off another 10 lbs.  That is completely doable.  In fact, I need to remind myself  that having that full four months does not mean I can let things slide now and then.  Sliding is a slippery slope into failure, into a "redo."  I want no redo's.  It's damn hard at my age getting this shit off.  I KNOW that staying focused till the goal date is key.

I'm finishing up coffee and a half serving of my yummy Oatmeal No-Bakes -- 15 grams.  Tiny, yes, but just enough to hit the spot with coffee first thing in the morning.  My next meal will be my post-workout shake and blueberries.  I'm back to the routine that pays off.  I've been there.  It works.  And best of all, I'm feeling fantastic again.

My quality of life has improved substantially.  And that alone is reason enough.

Save Room (in your heart) For Dessert