"I'm Always Near"

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

"Nobody means what they say on Thanksgiving, Mom. That's what the holiday is all about. Torture."
-Claudia 

"That is my favorite line in this, one of my favorite movies. This is a holiday at anyone's home: a congregation of people you love beyond comprehension and hate beyond belief but are bound to by blood.

There are so many wonderful and true moments in this film both funny and dramatic, that I cannot possibly name them all except to say that these moments, even the one between the sisters near the end, are what we give thanks for even if they are painful.
Yes family gatherings are dreaded, but once they are over we are happy to have attended, because somewhere amidst the chaos we remember why we love these people, where we came from, who we are, and what is truly important in this life.  Coming to realizations such as this inevitably involves torture.  We would much rather not think about it... this movie forces us to. Great movie." 
- Kate (Movie Reviews)


Oh, how I love a good comedy!  What a great movie indeed.  I've seen this movie a few times.  It is very funny, and I can relate to its undercurrent and message.  "Torture."  Over the years I always dreaded the getting together with extended family over the holidays, the dysfunctional personalities, the hands on the clock seeming to move more slowly than usual, the "over the top" food selections; the thermostat always seemed to be set too high, the noise level too loud, the conversations....uh, challenging? 


While spending the night with my mom this past spring, only a few months before she passed, I was in her back bedroom, digging through some of her old VHS movies one evening, spied this one (a favorite), and decided to "borrow" it for a while.  Of course, time passes, I got busy, distracted, the movie became "back burner," and I had forgotten where I'd put it.


So this evening, desperately needing a laugh, I thought it would be fun to watch THIS movie -- fitting for a Saturday night on a Thanksgiving holiday.  So I began looking...where did I put that movie????


And then, as I was looking through a drawer, I came across a stack of Christmas cards from years past.  (I save Christmas cards, not all of them, but most...I'm sentimental about Christmas cards...go figure)  And as if on cue, I saw a familiar card.  I knew immediately.  I recognized it as HERS.  It was from my mom....signed
...."I'm always near." 


Needless to say, that went STRAIGHT TO MY HEART.  I felt my heart being squeezed as tears filled my eyes...and then just as quickly, those tears were replaced with a smile.  She knew I needed to smile, to laugh, to remember the joy.  She needed to tell me: 
"It's okay.  I'm always near." 


Incidentally, I found the movie.   I WILL watch this movie before the weekend is over. 


Thanks, Mom.  You always show up. 
You always have, you always will.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over the River and Through the Woods...

...to Grandmother's house we go...

We will be celebrating Thanksgiving at grandma's house, our tradition now for several years.  She owns over 100 acres on a farm in the southeastern part of the state, and it's an ideal place for hunting, solitude, escape. 

The closest store from her house is about four miles away, and it is a small country store with one fuel/gas pump.  Her closest neighbor is one mile away from her.  All her "neighbors" live within 1-3 miles of her.  There are natural springs on her property and a small creek that runs down by her house.  Two barns still exist that were owned by a family who ran the farm about 100 years ago.

On a clear night, 

except for the faint light of the stars,

you can barely see your hand in front of your face.

The stillness is deafening.

The air is as clean as it gets.

For some reason, all worries seem to be left behind

when you enter this part of the world.

Intoxicated by the beauty and simplicity of nature that surrounds you,

the mind instinctively clears

and perspectives are renewed.

This place slows you down, whether you like it or not.

On the menu today:  Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, green beans, broccoli casserole, slaw, rolls, pecan pie, pumpkin cake w/cream cheese icing, iced "maple leaf" sugar cookies, and my youngest son's choice:  Dirt Balls.

I WILL BE TAKING A LONG WALK THIS AFTERNOON.

Giving thanks, as I remember my many blessings, the goodness of God, for friends, family, past and present, and for the memories I hold dear of Thanksgivings past with my mom.

A Time to Give Thanks

My son arrived home from college yesterday afternoon for the Thanksgiving break -- unannounced!  I thought he would be arriving TODAY.  So I hadn't prepared anything for dinner.  My youngest "picks" at food, and so he's easy to cook for, his menu preferences being limited.  I had to leave not long after he'd arrived home for a singing engagement, so no time to prepare a welcome-home meal for him.

He announced he had begun low carbing on Sunday, would eat LC through Wednesday, and then refeed on Thanksgiving Day; repeating that cycle with a once-a-week refeed -- his nutritional game plan, now that football season is over, as he begins leaning out for his upcoming track season.

I quickly prepared one of my famous (delicious) Pumpkin Protein Muffins (low carb, of course) with a cup of green tea for my on-the-run dinner, and allowed him to taste it.  We enjoy swapping nutritional/training ideas and such, and I had a feeling he'd appreciate this new concoction I've stumbled upon.  He did.  And just before I left for the evening, he proceeded to scramble 10 eggs and 6 slices of baked ham with cheddar cheese into an omelet, and devoured that with 1/3 gallon of milk -- straight from the jug.  That should hold him a few hours at least.

Mental note to self: 
Remember to stop by grocery store and buy more eggs
and lots more milk...
and meat...and ... (cha-ching!)  G is home.

I felt an immediate sense of love and pride and joy and thankfulness for my family, for our blessings, for our faith, our health, our love. 

And as I left out the door for practice, there was already a "song in my heart" as I reflected on God's gracious bounty of blessings. 

What we have once enjoyed

we can never lose.

All that we love deeply

becomes a part of us.

- Helen Keller

 

I was shopping earlier this afternoon.  I had a list, things I needed, things I wanted, things others needed. 

When I shop, I love taking my time, scrupulously inspecting every little thing, the details -- the details, baby, the details -- heaven forbid that I'd miss something.

As I wandered through the home decor section, I stumbled across a framed black-and-white photo with a scripted quote in cream lettering.  There was an empty bench in the center of the photo. 

The quote was from Helen Keller.  How is it that I'd never known about this quote before?  How could I have missed THIS one?  How it shot straight to the depths of my soul. 

All time stopped, all sound, all light.  I was aware of nothing else.  Only painfully aware of the effect of those words on my heart, a stirring of memories, a comforting reassurance...the words written on this beautiful framed photo...of the empty bench.

Holidays have a way of shedding light on "empty chairs." 

Mother, I enjoyed our time, our life together.

I loved you -- will always love you -- deeply.

And yes, therefore you will forever be a part of me.

Touched by Love

Today is Monday.
It's been cool.  Rainy. 

I'm home from work, and I've begun some baking.  I'll send some goodies to Z in Germany tomorrow, along with family pics, and a few other treasures.

I want to be quiet and calm tonight.   I want to go nowhere.  Talk to no one.  Just .... be still and listen. 

Music is acceptable silence to me.  I remembered I had discovered this video a while back.  It stirs my soul.  It's perfect for this day.

"Look to your health;

and if you have it, praise God and value it next to conscience;

for health is the second blessing

that we mortals are capable of,

a blessing money can't buy."

Isaak Walton

Remember to exhale

Having been overwhelmed lately with work, life, stuff, I've sort of taken a step back to unplug and breathe this week...exhale.  Yes, exhale. 

Someone sent me an email this week, and practically every reminder in it hit home to me in big ways.  Although its emphasis is on "staying young," (at least FEELING young?)  -----and hell yeah, we all wanna do that---- but its overall message was poignant.  A wakeup call for me.  I ought to print it out and place it somewhere visible. 

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Try everything twice.
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!"

2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)

3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever...
Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,
spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

6.. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever..
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips..
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county,
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance..


Love these.  Every one of them.

So....

Off I go to work on

No. 8...