My Three Sons

Well, it has been a while since I've blogged.  The holidays have been a little busy for me, but mostly in a good way.  Spending time with my sons all under one roof again has been wonderful.  Their interaction with each other, despite their age differences, their drastic personality differences, has been fun to watch. 

My oldest son, who made it home from Germany the Wednesday before Christmas, is the quiet, reserved type, very serious, focused, intelligent, meticulous, organized.  He loves to laugh, however, and he has an easy source of entertainment just watching his two younger brothers and their idiosyncracies.  He's enjoyed eating American food and "Mom's cooking" since he's been home (and Mom has enjoyed it a little too much too), all while keeping a watchful eye on his waistline.  He's about 70 lbs lighter than he was this time last year, and he feels great about that and wants to keep it that way.  He's gone to the gym with his brother and I, and that's bonded us as well.  He's spent time hanging out with his friends he hasn't seen in forever, and he's made great use of his time. 

My middle son is Pure Ham.  Not a humble thread in his body.  Yet as "all-about-me" as he appears, he's actually very generous, tender-hearted, sentimental and loyal to those who are close to him.  He enjoys family time and giving his younger brother a hard time.  He's not as focused on his academics as he should be, and his grades have taken a nose dive this semester.  We've had "the talk."  He has some reprioritizing to do this semester, and he knows it.  Athletics are nice, but he's there to LEARN AND GET AN EDUCATION.  As a rule, he's a huge slob, and I have to find that balance of keeping him accountable with his messes and yet not seeming like a constant nag.  He eats us out of house and home, trying to keep up with his protein input (he's trying to diet w/o losing muscle), so that means lots of skim milk and meat...cha-ching on the grocery bill.  Since he's been home from college, we've gone through 5 pkgs of chicken, a whole turkey, half a ham, several hamburgers, two trays of shrimp, turkey tacos x 3, an entire batch of venison meatballs, a tray of pulled pork BBQ, and 12 gallons of skim milk -- to hit the highlights.  He wears his welcome out at the local gym, but they love him and he enjoys all the comraderie with "the big guys" there.

My youngest son, 12, is thrilled to have his older brothers home and is on an endless, self-imposed quest to prove that he's way cooler than they are any day of the week.  He's my GQ of the family.  His hair has to be just so, his clothes, his shoes, his own idea of what is cool.  Very narrow borders apply.  I've stopped trying to figure it out or second guess, because just when I think I know what he expects or wants, he changes the rules.  He's a smart kid, responsible, conscientious.  A little on the shy side until you get to know him.  He's taking in and making the most of having his brothers home with him while he can.

So yes, watching my guys interact and observing how they're growing up and maturing into their own identities has been very rewarding and entertaining for me, helping me to focus on positive, happy, meaningful things in this first Christmas without my mother.

More later on the holidays...I gotta get dressed.  Headed to the gym to let off some steam, burn some calories and raise the endorphins.

I am in search of happy, funny things right now to help me move past some melancholy that I've been experiencing.  A friend sent me this video by email this morning.  That bird!  Bless his heart.  How he made me laugh and smile!  Gotta love his enthusiasm...

(more later)

"A Sacred Oratorio"

Every year at our church's Sunday morning service before Christmas (or on Christmas Day, depending on the calendar), the choir always ends the service with Handel's Hallelujah Chorus.

How many thousands of times have I heard this piece over my lifetime?  Countless.  Yet each time I hear it, standing in honor and awe and with gratitude and respect oozing from my veins, chills are sent down my spine, tears well in my eyes, and I am deeply moved.

I remember learning to sing this piece in school years ago, the alto line, and each time we performed --and every time since while serving as a member in various choirs-- it has that same effect.  Raising our voices to Him, there lies within me a yearning and pride to offer Him my very best...My Utmost. 

Christmas would not be Christmas without hearing this song...at least once.

Thank you, George Frideric Handel, for your talents in this glorious gift of timeless tribute to all who have come to worship Him.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXh7JR9oKVE

Well done, friends!

A memorable meal indeed.

"I'm Always Near"

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

"Nobody means what they say on Thanksgiving, Mom. That's what the holiday is all about. Torture."
-Claudia 

"That is my favorite line in this, one of my favorite movies. This is a holiday at anyone's home: a congregation of people you love beyond comprehension and hate beyond belief but are bound to by blood.

There are so many wonderful and true moments in this film both funny and dramatic, that I cannot possibly name them all except to say that these moments, even the one between the sisters near the end, are what we give thanks for even if they are painful.
Yes family gatherings are dreaded, but once they are over we are happy to have attended, because somewhere amidst the chaos we remember why we love these people, where we came from, who we are, and what is truly important in this life.  Coming to realizations such as this inevitably involves torture.  We would much rather not think about it... this movie forces us to. Great movie." 
- Kate (Movie Reviews)


Oh, how I love a good comedy!  What a great movie indeed.  I've seen this movie a few times.  It is very funny, and I can relate to its undercurrent and message.  "Torture."  Over the years I always dreaded the getting together with extended family over the holidays, the dysfunctional personalities, the hands on the clock seeming to move more slowly than usual, the "over the top" food selections; the thermostat always seemed to be set too high, the noise level too loud, the conversations....uh, challenging? 


While spending the night with my mom this past spring, only a few months before she passed, I was in her back bedroom, digging through some of her old VHS movies one evening, spied this one (a favorite), and decided to "borrow" it for a while.  Of course, time passes, I got busy, distracted, the movie became "back burner," and I had forgotten where I'd put it.


So this evening, desperately needing a laugh, I thought it would be fun to watch THIS movie -- fitting for a Saturday night on a Thanksgiving holiday.  So I began looking...where did I put that movie????


And then, as I was looking through a drawer, I came across a stack of Christmas cards from years past.  (I save Christmas cards, not all of them, but most...I'm sentimental about Christmas cards...go figure)  And as if on cue, I saw a familiar card.  I knew immediately.  I recognized it as HERS.  It was from my mom....signed
...."I'm always near." 


Needless to say, that went STRAIGHT TO MY HEART.  I felt my heart being squeezed as tears filled my eyes...and then just as quickly, those tears were replaced with a smile.  She knew I needed to smile, to laugh, to remember the joy.  She needed to tell me: 
"It's okay.  I'm always near." 


Incidentally, I found the movie.   I WILL watch this movie before the weekend is over. 


Thanks, Mom.  You always show up. 
You always have, you always will.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over the River and Through the Woods...

...to Grandmother's house we go...

We will be celebrating Thanksgiving at grandma's house, our tradition now for several years.  She owns over 100 acres on a farm in the southeastern part of the state, and it's an ideal place for hunting, solitude, escape. 

The closest store from her house is about four miles away, and it is a small country store with one fuel/gas pump.  Her closest neighbor is one mile away from her.  All her "neighbors" live within 1-3 miles of her.  There are natural springs on her property and a small creek that runs down by her house.  Two barns still exist that were owned by a family who ran the farm about 100 years ago.

On a clear night, 

except for the faint light of the stars,

you can barely see your hand in front of your face.

The stillness is deafening.

The air is as clean as it gets.

For some reason, all worries seem to be left behind

when you enter this part of the world.

Intoxicated by the beauty and simplicity of nature that surrounds you,

the mind instinctively clears

and perspectives are renewed.

This place slows you down, whether you like it or not.

On the menu today:  Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, green beans, broccoli casserole, slaw, rolls, pecan pie, pumpkin cake w/cream cheese icing, iced "maple leaf" sugar cookies, and my youngest son's choice:  Dirt Balls.

I WILL BE TAKING A LONG WALK THIS AFTERNOON.

Giving thanks, as I remember my many blessings, the goodness of God, for friends, family, past and present, and for the memories I hold dear of Thanksgivings past with my mom.

A Time to Give Thanks

My son arrived home from college yesterday afternoon for the Thanksgiving break -- unannounced!  I thought he would be arriving TODAY.  So I hadn't prepared anything for dinner.  My youngest "picks" at food, and so he's easy to cook for, his menu preferences being limited.  I had to leave not long after he'd arrived home for a singing engagement, so no time to prepare a welcome-home meal for him.

He announced he had begun low carbing on Sunday, would eat LC through Wednesday, and then refeed on Thanksgiving Day; repeating that cycle with a once-a-week refeed -- his nutritional game plan, now that football season is over, as he begins leaning out for his upcoming track season.

I quickly prepared one of my famous (delicious) Pumpkin Protein Muffins (low carb, of course) with a cup of green tea for my on-the-run dinner, and allowed him to taste it.  We enjoy swapping nutritional/training ideas and such, and I had a feeling he'd appreciate this new concoction I've stumbled upon.  He did.  And just before I left for the evening, he proceeded to scramble 10 eggs and 6 slices of baked ham with cheddar cheese into an omelet, and devoured that with 1/3 gallon of milk -- straight from the jug.  That should hold him a few hours at least.

Mental note to self: 
Remember to stop by grocery store and buy more eggs
and lots more milk...
and meat...and ... (cha-ching!)  G is home.

I felt an immediate sense of love and pride and joy and thankfulness for my family, for our blessings, for our faith, our health, our love. 

And as I left out the door for practice, there was already a "song in my heart" as I reflected on God's gracious bounty of blessings. 

What we have once enjoyed

we can never lose.

All that we love deeply

becomes a part of us.

- Helen Keller

 

I was shopping earlier this afternoon.  I had a list, things I needed, things I wanted, things others needed. 

When I shop, I love taking my time, scrupulously inspecting every little thing, the details -- the details, baby, the details -- heaven forbid that I'd miss something.

As I wandered through the home decor section, I stumbled across a framed black-and-white photo with a scripted quote in cream lettering.  There was an empty bench in the center of the photo. 

The quote was from Helen Keller.  How is it that I'd never known about this quote before?  How could I have missed THIS one?  How it shot straight to the depths of my soul. 

All time stopped, all sound, all light.  I was aware of nothing else.  Only painfully aware of the effect of those words on my heart, a stirring of memories, a comforting reassurance...the words written on this beautiful framed photo...of the empty bench.

Holidays have a way of shedding light on "empty chairs." 

Mother, I enjoyed our time, our life together.

I loved you -- will always love you -- deeply.

And yes, therefore you will forever be a part of me.

Touched by Love

Today is Monday.
It's been cool.  Rainy. 

I'm home from work, and I've begun some baking.  I'll send some goodies to Z in Germany tomorrow, along with family pics, and a few other treasures.

I want to be quiet and calm tonight.   I want to go nowhere.  Talk to no one.  Just .... be still and listen. 

Music is acceptable silence to me.  I remembered I had discovered this video a while back.  It stirs my soul.  It's perfect for this day.