Tell Me Something Good

Warning:  The following is replete with gripes, wails and whining.  

So it all began in June of 2019.   I thought it was a groin sprain/strain/pull -- whatever the difference is  -- THAT!  Very painful,   Limiting.  Annoying.  But I dismissed it as my fault for neglecting to properly warm up before a gym workout.  Surely that's what it was.  My bad.  My fault.  So let's just Google this sucker and figure out how to fix it.  Rest, icing, gentle stretches.  Even tried an awesome groin brace that you wrap around the hips with an adjustable wrap for the groin/thigh area.  Noticeably less discomfort when wearing that thing, but I obviously couldn't wear it to work.  Only leisurely and when attempting to walk.  Gym workouts were out of the question (INSERT ENORMOUS WHINE HERE.)

Weeks, then months passed with not a lot of improvement.  Some days the pain was worse.  I just assumed I had overdone it, maybe walking too fast, or too long, or uphill, or upstairs, or maybe just on my feet for too long ... or maybe ... what?  Probably something I'm doing wrong.

It should be healed by now.

By mid September I was starting to get plenty pissed off.  Enough.  I need my life back.  I missed my gym workouts, my HIIT cardio and SS cardio and my lower body weight training, all a huge part of my life that I had missed terribly.  And it was beginning to affect my moods.  It was time to see someone.  And so I began with an orthopedic massage therapist, one who came highly recommended.  Long story short, the massage helped greatly, but was short-lived.  The pain would return within a few weeks after the massage.

I continued trying to self-treat, mixed with massage, leading up to our trip to Italy in October -- which I simply must take time to blog about that cruise, but I fear I'll be at a loss for words, which is why I've not done it yet.  Simply and utterly breathtaking.  Everything.about.it.was.amazing. 

I digresss...So upon my return from Italy I make an appointment with a physical therapist, hoping that through their instruction and therapy I could do the RIGHT things and avoid the WRONG things to help speed recovery along.  It had been nearly six months.  And the pain at times would wake me up at night.  Our groin muscle is what we use to get out of the driver's seat.  Something one takes for granted until it's screaming in your face daily:  Ouch, don't do that.  It hurts.

After seven trips to PT, with some but not a lot of improvement in my range of motion and pain, she suggested we get an X-ray to rule out something more serious.

My doctor's office called the day after the X-ray with the results:  "The report shows mild to moderate osteoarthritis of the hip.  We have referred you to an orthopedic physician for a follow-up appointment to meet with him and discuss what exercises you will need to do to limit the pain and improve strength."

I was not convinced.  I know that X-rays don't lie, but I found it hard to believe that that was the reason for all of my pain.  My hip only ached occassionally.  It was the muscles in my groin where I was experiencing the most pain.  What about my groin!?  Something's not right here.

Finally after getting in to see the ortho doc yesterday, I was hoping he could shed light on my questions and I would hear something positive, some formula, shot, medication, exercise plan that would "fix" my groin, and I'd worry about that mild to moderate arthritis stuff later.  How bad can it be anyway.  So, c'mon, doc, tell me something good.  Show me how to get my life back.

There was no plan.  No shortcut.  No pill or shot or exercise that was going to FIX my groin pain.  My groin pain was unfortunately the genesis of the diagnosis.  I have osteoarthritis of the hip, manifested in pain and limited range of motion of the groin.

My options are these:  Prescription strength ibuprofen 3x daily, daily prescribed PT stretches to regain strength in my atrophied muscles in my thigh, yoga, elliptical for cardio -- or walks on flat ground, no hills.  When the ibuprofen stops working, we can consider steroid injections into the hip every three to six months.  Inevitably I will need a hip replacement.

WTH?

And all of this time, all of these years of dedicated workouts, strength training, regular cardio, all that I had read about how this will prolong life and promote longevity and a healthy lifestyle as we age and avoid expensive meds and hospital stays and surgeries -- take care of your body, work out often, make weight training a part of your life, eat healthy.  It wasn't enough .  Apparently osteoarthritis is a genetic thing, or can be.  

Does this mean I give up on working out?  Hell no!  I just have to significantly modify my approach to strength training.  No more heavy weights.  No lunges. No heavy-impact cardio/exercise at all.  No more HIIT circuits.

My new friend (and resurrecting an old one, Callanetics) will be Yoga.  I've ordered the Yoga Burn DVDs.  I'm well familiar with Callanetics and they're very similar to Yoga, but I want to embrace and learn as much about Yoga as I can.  This will become my new norm, my new path to wellness.

Strange as it sounds, when my mind wanders back to my days at the gym, busting my butt, getting high on endorphins and pumping iron and all the insanely crazy highs and happiness that went along with that era of my life... I feel a deep sadness.  That chapter has ended.  And I'm just sad about it.

Time will heal the emptiness I feel.  I'll pour myself into learning this new way of living.  It will be good.  I choose to find the good in my next chapter.  My attitude, my outlook, is a choice.