FNL - White Christmas

Looks like it will be merely a dream at this point...
Not lookin good again this year for my long-awaited White Christmas.

So I guess I'll just KEEP ON dreaming.

Meanwhile, I'm having fun letting the Spirit
speak to me through so many sources.

children's faces...
people's decorations...
songs...
lights...
friends and families...
love and kindness.

It's all good.

I got my keratin treatment this morning.  Yes.  Oh, so overdue!  I love how it makes the copper lowlights that I had done in early fall more obvious.  

Going out to dinner tonight with three other couples to celebrate Christmas and our friendships.  Can't wait.  I've taken the day off to get stuff done, run errands, wrap gifts, and try to get the house back to normal after taking Phelan back to Gavin.  I can take down the gates now and open the French doors to enjoy the tree.  I'm noticing that Chessie is doing the victory dance too.  

There's a new wine I tried about a month ago while having dinner with a friend.  It's a Cab, which is not typically my favorite, but this one was very good.  Chasing Lions.  I haven't found it locally yet.  I may have to order it.  

I picked up a pair of faded gray, white-wash-looking skinny jeans today (early Christmas present to myself) to wear to dinner tonight with a gray denim jacket and a long red sweater.  Boots.  I have THE LOOK in my head, now I gotta just pull it together.  Gonna paint my nails Christmas red, do the red lipstick thing, and throw a little bling on for icing.  There.  Time to prance, Dancer!

White Christmas?  

Nah.  Only in my dreams.

So. 

Red It Is.

Cheers!

A New and Glorious Morn

REJOICE

(rejois’)

To experience joy and gladness in a high degree;

to be exhilarated with lively and pleasurable sensations;

to exult.

It's Free?

It’s Free Shipping Day!

So...does this apply to humans too?

Give me a second.

I can be packed in a flash!

FNL - The Piano Guys

Couldn't decide whether or not to take the day off.  Babysitting Phelan, I've not had time to get as much accomplished as I'd like to with decorating for Christmas.  A part of me resists...a deeper part of me, my mother, whispers, "Celebrate with me, it's Christmas..."

Missing people I love.  It hurts.

So I voted yes, take a vacation day.  I made it to the gym this morning for the first time in a week.  I think that's the longest I've gone w/o lifting in YEARS.   It kicked me.  And I didn't even go at my typical pace.  Gotta do better.  I'll FEEL better if I do.

It has poured the rain for the last two days...rain, rain, rain....just keeps raining.

Snow is preferable.

I've spent most of the day decorating the tree, rearranging furniture -- I love doing that...feels like a new house -- and cleaning, tidying.  My focus theme this year is woodsy with a sprinkle of classic and bling.  Lots of birch and pine.  And of course, candles -- everywhere.  I've listened to Jazz Christmas on Pandora all day.  Now I'm ready for a glass of wine.  I am pushing through this FUNK.  I will NOT let it take me captive. The time spent alone today has done me a lot of good.  Solitude is cathartic at times.

I think I'll go shower and pour a glass of wine.

Happy Friday.

Live?  Well, sort of.

Good stuff.

Says who?

Sexiest man alive?

Really?

Uh, nope.  Don’t think so. 

Just doesn’t do it for THIS woman.

Of all the gorgeous, sexy men 

running around on the planet …

and they pick Adam Levine?

Sorry, Adam.  You’re cute and all.  

And incredibly talented.

And smart?  Yes.

But the SEXIEST man?

Some of us just can’t agree with the judges 
on this subjective call.

Warm My Heart

Yesterday evening, after taking Phelan for a walk -- then run, because, well, she likes to run too, I discovered -- we plopped down onto the garage floor for a breather.  She eagerly lapped up her water.  And THEN she spies me on the floor beside her, an irresistible invitation tease to pounce and play.  And to be honest, I was having a ball.  She'd look at me dead in the eye, as if to say, you know you love me...why do you pretend you don't?

And then --bam-- in my lap, nuzzling my hair, my face, my neck, romp, play, pounce ... repeat.

And me?  Well, I giggled.  A lot.

"Say it.  Say you love me!"

And then I saw it.  The sunset.

And as if on cue, she saw it too,

and she immediately calmed down,

and we both sat there staring,

content,

conversing without words.

Our souls had connected somehow.

Sunsets...high on my happy list!

Yes, all was good in my world.

(Forever grateful to a friend who encouraged me to start that list.)

And that's when I knew.

She had me.

As the cooler night air hastened,

I found myself longing for a fire.

This sweet puppy love

had warmed my heart

like a beautiful sunset by fireside.

Am I getting addicted to her?

Yes, sweet Phelan.

I do love you.

And I will take care of you

as long as I need to.

This will all work out somehow.

(Working on getting her to smile for the camera)

The perfect CHILL song for fireside!

Colorless

Was it really less than a week ago that I was at the office, planning my last day at work until after Thanksgiving, checking the weather, hoping/praying that Gavin would make it home safely if it snowed as they had predicted.

It seems like forever ago.

The snow was so beautiful.  Remnants of fall peek out of the freshly fallen snow on Wednesday morning.  The snow calmed me.  It seemed to know I needed it.

Since he left to go back home on Friday morning, I’ve been in a funk.  What is wrong with me?  Seriously.  I’ve got to get a grip.  This is not the way it’s supposed to be.  My shame mixes with guilt over feeling this way and it just exaggerates the emptiness. 

It’s as if

all the color has been washed away…

and all I see,

both literally and figuratively,

is black and white.

 I’m somewhat very frustrated with Gavin for having bought a dog (a soon to be VERY BIG dog), knowing he wasn’t allowed to have pets.  He now will likely be evicted.  While he searches for a new apartment, his puppy, Phelan, is staying at our house.  A puppy – un-housebroken puppy – is the LAST thing I want and need right now.  Let’s just crank up the stress several notches, shall we? 

This puppy needs watched constantly when she’s not on a leash, chained up to a loaded 50-lb barbell in our garage.  She’s chew crazy, playfully aggressive, and she poops and pees when she’s not taken out regularly.  To avoid the poop and pee and mess, we take her out at regular intervals.  She cries, lonely when left in the garage by herself (except at night, thankfully), and begs/cries to come in.  I have to gate and barricade everything (while decorating for Christmas????) as she chases and terrorizes Chessie, my Peke-a-poo.  She jumps and romps and she’s STRONG as an ox.  There are no off-guard moments.  You have to constantly be watching her or attending to her needs.

Am I resentful?  Yes.  Is that all that’s wrong with me? 

That’s what has me stumped.  I need and want to purge.  I must.  I’m drowning here.

Get a grip. 

Everything will work out with Phelan and he’ll find another apartment very soon.

Think positive.

But will that cure me?  I desperately want to make this right.