To Wee, or Not to Wee -- THAT is the Question!

By the beginning of the fourth quarter of my son's football game last night, I found myself faced with a huge decision:  Do I try to keep from peeing my pants (I could not wait another 15 minutes+) or do I make the trek to those disgusting porta potties (there were only TWO) sitting just beyond the end zone in a very dimly lit area. 

Porta potties disgust me.  That is an understatement.  I have never understood how they pass the CDC's test for permissible use in public places.  I mean...really? 

Those poor people who work in the porta potty industry.  I can't imagine:  "What do you do for a living?"  I install and empty porta potty reservoirs.

My neighbor's son called her last week from Richmond to tell her that he had been at an event with his young daughter, and had made a visit to a porty potty.  While inside, he accidentally DROPPED HIS CELL PHONE in the abyss of poop and pee.  It was a brand new cell phone.  He panicked.  His dilemma:  Do I walk away and leave it, or do I take the plunge and try to retrieve it?  (I'm laughing my ass off as she is telling me this story.)  As it turns out, he wrapped his entire arm and hand in pretty much an entire roll of toilet paper, reached in, and fished that sucker outta there.  O>M>G>!

I'm not so sure -- no, correction -- I'm absolutely sure I would not have bothered.  Sometimes ya just gotta walk away.

In my case last night, it was either pee my pants or head to the germ pits and relieve myself.  (Note to self:  Start carrying a paper mask and hand sanitizer in my purse.)  I opened the door handle, entering apprehensively, and got to the business at hand as quickly as possible.  (WHY don't they have hand sanitizer dispensers mounted inside these monstrosities?) Thoroughly disgusted, yet relieved, I exited the porty potty.  I glanced about furtively, a sense of humiliation having taken over me for having to resort to this necessity. 

Sometimes we HAVE no choice.  When nature calls, there is no voice mail.  You either answer, or you suffer the consequences.