Igniting My Happy

It's Monday evening.  I wake up from a long, luxurious nap.  I'm chilled.  I grab a hoodie to snuggle.  I'm groggy, but rested.  I look out the window.   It's dark outside.  Of course it is.  It's dark outside.  It's cold.  And it's winter.

Find the light, T.  Ignite your happy.

I head downstairs to begin dinner.  I've planned spaghetti for my family, roasted chicken in hot sauce for me.  It doesn't make sense that I'm craving all of this hot n spicy food when I'm fighting hot flashes. What's that about?  Oh, yeah, I'd definitely appreciate a big ol' bowl of ice cream far more.  But so would my growing ass.  Nah -- stop.  I'll save that whine session for another time.

Waiting for the noodles to boil, I switch on the evening news.  Why?  It's always depressing, and I mostly try to avoid it.  Trouble on Wall Street.......Philip Seymour Hoffman dies of a heroine overdose; I remember his role in Patch Adams.  Talented but cocky.......and more winter storms on the way; they mention that Minnesota was hit with -32 temps.  SERIOUSLY!

Turn it off, T.  Find the light, T.  Ignite your happy.

I light a candle.  I watch it flicker and dance, the creamy amber hues of the flame casting shadows of the iron candle holder on the wall.  It smells good.  It calms me almost instantly..... Like listening to a fiddler, my thoughts turn from dark to light, doldrums to content.  Face it, who can listen to a fiddle and feel depressed?  

Bring your fiddles.  Light your candles.
Ignite your happies.

I close my eyes.  I dream that it's summer again...

I pour a cup of decaf green tea and choose a cottage cheese "blizzard" for my dinner in place of the chicken.  It hit my happy spot.

It's Tuesday.  I stop by the bank at the mall to make a deposit and then slowly make my way to Macy's.  Nothing particular on my mind.  I wander.  Minutes later I find myself in the jewelry section.  CLEARANCE.  That'll do it.  Let me dig.  After a few minutes of digging -- I'm a digger - love to dig - makes me happy -- I can't help but notice this voice , another digger beside me.  She sounds exactly like Bernadette from The Big Bang Theory.  She's going on and on and on ..... I sneak a peek to confirm she's real.  Yep.  I suppress a very big giggle.

I need new eye shadow.  Eye shadow.  Such a tiny thing for so big an impact to a woman's mood.  A beeline to Sephora.  The clerk kindly guides me through some pretty options. I want it all.  Every.Single.Thing.I.See.  Choosing a pretty plum and champagne duo, I leave there a little happier.

I next head to Bath & Body Works.  While browsing, the clerk shares with me a new scent of their summer candle selection that has already sold out.  She just happened to have a diffuser of the same scent.  Oh.My.Goodness. Unable to suppress a huge smile, it consumes me, teasing and taunting -- the most fabulous smell of summer!  I must have it.  I must, I must.  "Summer Boardwalk."  I assure her that I would be back when their new shipment arrives, and I leave the store obsessed...that scent on my brain...a daydream of summer in my heart... a permanent smile on my face.

Revisit memories of the best summer

spent at the beach with caramel glazed popcorn,

warm taffy apples

and salted sweet cream.  

Perfect.  

This will certainly do.

You've found your light, T.

Ignite your happy.